Going Under (Wildfire Lake 2)

My shoulders relax, but my stomach tightens. I don’t have my words figured out yet. I don’t even have my heart figured out yet. But he’s here. That has to be a good sign, right? “Yeah. That would be good. I could use a beer.”

He smiles. “Me too.”

As we move to a bar down the corridor, he asks, “How was Guatemala?”

“Hot. How are things here?”

“Crazy.”

We’re both smiling as we take seats at the bar. I still have no idea what I’m going to say, but just being with him uncoils a few knots.

“I forgot your luggage,” he says, standing. “Go ahead and order, I’ll get it.”

I laugh. “Sit down.” I slide my backpack off and drop it at my feet, wrapping one of the straps around my foot so no one can come along and snatch it when I’m not looking. “This is my luggage.”

He makes a face. “How could you possibly have been away for five days with nothing but your backpack?”

“When you travel a lot and live in tiny spaces, you learn to pare down to what’s really important.”

He sits back down, his expression growing serious. “Yeah, about that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I mean, a lot. I think I might have ground some gears down to the nub.”

I smile and nod. I’m pretty sure I’ve done the same.

The bartender delivers our beers, but neither of us drinks.

“I want to apologize for the way I acted the last time we talked,” he said. “I really don’t have any excuse. I was immature and petty and jealous and I’m really ashamed of myself. I guess, some part of me has been expecting you to realize what a high-maintenance mess I am from day one. The more real your idea became, the more invested I was. And the more invested I was, the more afraid I got. It was like a self-tightening noose.”

His confession touches me, and I reach for his hand, curling both of mine around it. “I didn’t go the extra mile to make you feel any better, and we both know I suck at this relationship thing.”

“Actually, I think you did go the extra mile. I just wasn’t hearing you.” He leans forward and cups my face in his free hand. The emotion in his eyes pries my heart wide open, and it’s terrifying as hell, but I force myself not to retreat into my shell. “I’ve missed you.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I press my lips together to hold them back. “I’ve been pretty miserable too.”

He leans closer and guides me into a kiss. A sweet, heartfelt, connecting kiss that pulls a thousand pounds off my chest.

“I know I put a lot of pressure on you to feel the same way I do,” he says, “but I won’t do it again. We’ll take things at your speed, okay?”

My world rights, and I nod. “I’m still trying to figure it all out.” I run my fingers through the hair at his temple. “How are the girls?”

“Fine. Poppy and Jazz keep asking where you are, and Violet’s been lecturing me about messing things up with you.”

I laugh.

“Tell me about the boat,” he says. “How was it?”

That complicated dreamy feeling spills through me, and I roll my eyes. “Gorgeous. Just freaking gorgeous. And such a great deal.”

He nods, but I ca

n tell he’s working to stay positive. “When are you bringing her home?”

“Yeah, about that,” I say, repeating his words before clearing my throat and diving in. “I decided not to buy her.”

His face drops. “What? Why not?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too, and I realized there will always be boats available, good deals will always pop up, and the world isn’t going anywhere. It’ll all still be there when the time is right for me to travel.” I have to take a big breath to get the next part out. “But you and the girls won’t be, and I want to be with you more than I want to see the few places I haven’t seen yet.”

“I… What… Wow.”