“Last boyfriend?” Chloe asks.
“Real boyfriend, like only seeing each other, would have been seventeen, Levi.”
“First kiss,” from Chloe.
“Sixteen, Levi.”
“Aw,” Chloe says, warming to whatever vibe she got from his name. “Levi.”
“First sex,” KT says.
“Seventeen, Levi.”
“My heart loves Levi,” Chloe says. “He’s a good soul.”
“He is—or was. I don’t know about now, but I’m guessing that didn’t change.” Thoughts of Levi can still make my soul ache, even six years after I last saw or spoke to him.
“First orgasm.” KT is all business, matter-of-fact, while Chloe is sentimental and mushy. The contrast is humorous. The way they both openly accept their different personalities warms me and cements the knowledge that these are good women.
I sigh. “Seventeen—”
“Levi,” we all say in unison and laugh.
“And only, to be honest,” I find myself admitting for the first time to anyone.
“Only orgasm?” KT asks in obvious shocked disbelief.
“Only man I’ve been able to orgasm with.” I crunch up my nose. “I haven’t had much luck with men.”
“How old was he?” KT wanted to know.
“Two years older.”
“Why didn’t you stay with him?” Chloe asks.
“Because he lived in Wildfire and was a townie. His family was there, his life was there, he wanted to stay there.”
“And you didn’t?” KT asks.
“My parents didn’t.” My mind drifts backward, to the wrenching heartache of leaving him that final time, knowing our summers together and our friendship of eight years was over. “I was so programmed to deliver on my parents’ wishes, it’s hard to know what I wanted. They found me an internship with Le Meurice in Paris, and I went.”
“Sounds fancy,” Chloe says.
I smile and nod. “A thousand dollars a night. I discovered rich people can be incredibly difficult to deal with.”
“What’s Levi doing now?” KT asks.
“I don’t know. We didn’t stay in touch.”
“Hello,” KT says. “Social media?”
I shake my head. “I tried looking for him a couple of times, but didn’t find anything, which I think is for the best, to be honest.”
“Regrets?” KT asks.
I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “Maybe that I wasn’t strong enough to defy my parents. That even today, I’m heavily swayed by their opinions and their vision for my life. And, yeah, not staying in touch with him. He was my best friend for a long time, and I still miss that. But we all grow up and move on. We can’t stay kids forever.”
KT lifts her water glass in a toast. “To facing life in the future as the strong women we’ve proven ourselves to be.”