I force a smile. “Sure.”
He gets out and rounds the truck to get my door, but I’m already stepping out. He hugs me tight, and I close my eyes and soak in the feel of him.
“I’ve got you,” he says. “I may not have been able to help you all those years ago, but I’ve got you now.”
The sentiment floods me with joy and relief. I can’t believe how good it feels to know someone just as strong as me has my back. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this forever. “Thank you.”
He holds my hand on the way in, but I pull away inside the restaurant and follow Levi toward the table holding his family. Even though I know their family has grown, I’m not prepared for the crowd or the chaos. Some people I know, others I don’t, and there are kids everywhere, sitting in chairs, wandering around close by, a couple under the table.
It’s overwhelming. I feel confused and tentative and completely uneasy. Everyone at the table looks up, and their gazes jump from Levi to me. It feels a little like I imagine a firing squad would.
Then Bri squeals and stands, coming over to hug me. She introduces me to the men and names the kids. When I step back and find his parents smiling at me, warmth nudges the fear aside, and I round the table to give them both hugs.
“So good to see you, sweetheart,” his mother says.
“You grew up real nice,” his dad says.
And despite the strangers and the craziness, I’m suddenly home. And the idea that I might actually be able to do this sneaks in.
Trina is friendly but indifferent to my presence, which I understand as she and her husband try to keep three kids acting relatively respectful in the restaurant. The men seem friendly enough. Even Lucy’s husband, Tony, is pleasant to me.
I return to Levi, who’s smiling and has pulled out a chair for me, and I take my seat as a waitress asks for our drink orders. Levi orders for us, and I’m trying to catch up with his parents with the noisy chaos of children everywhere. Aside from moving around the table like bees at a hive, they are well-behaved and freaking adorable. When I was young, Levi and I used to dream about having kids. But after I left, the idea never crossed my mind again. Now, I find myself in the middle of children who resemble Levi in one way or another, and I feel an unexpected but sweet longing perk up inside me.
The waitress returns with our drinks and begins to take orders. A little girl about four or five has taken a liking to me and works her way into my lap, where she colors on the table. Levi is grinning, and I see those dreams of children resurface in his eyes.
The waitress has just walked away from the table when Lucy rushes in, and I tense.
“Mary Ellen and Tara were sick,” she says to no one in particular, as she slides off her sweater. “So we cancelled—”
“Hi, Mama,” the little girl in my lap says, making me realize I’m holding one of Lucy’s daughters.
Lucy’s gaze turns toward her daughter’s voice, and lands on me, then darts to her daughter, to me, to Levi and back to me.
I meet her eyes and smile, but I hold my breath, hoping this doesn’t upset the comfortable situation at the table. Lucy and Levi seem to speak without words, and now the only people talking at the table are the kids.
Lucy lets out a breath and returns her gaze to me. She lays her sweater over the back of a chair beside her husband, then comes toward me. I have no idea what to expect, but nothing good enters my mind. Levi’s hand moves to my thigh and gives it a squeeze, and I’m so grateful for the show of support, I could cry.
“Hi,” Lucy says.
“Hi,” I return with a cautious smile.
“Look, Mama, it’s a rainbow.”
“I see that.” Lucy focuses on me again. “You’re staying, then?”
I don’t know if she means temporarily or forever, but since I’ve committed to the two years, I nod. “I am.”
Her lips turn in a conservative smile. “Welcome home, then.”
And she leans down to give me a hug.
I’m floored, and shocked tears sting my eyes. I hug her back and offer a soft “Thank you.”
The rest of dinner is a flurry of discussion and laughter, and I feel like I slide right back into the group. Seeing Levi with the kids warms my heart in a way that’s hard to explain. I experience a sense of belonging I haven’t had in years and feel like this is exactly what my life has been missing.
When we leave, I give his parents, his sisters, and even a couple of the kids hugs.
Levi opens my door for me, then climbs behind the wheel and starts the truck. I slide next to him, turn his head toward me, and kiss him. A meaningful, deep kiss filled with love and gratitude.