He nodded and met Emma’s eyes. “Thank you.”
He was a good-looking kid with dark hair and light-blue eyes. Long, lanky, and muscular, he reminded her a little of Dylan when he’d been the same age. Which only reminded her of just how much he’d changed. She thought of the way her hands and mouth had traveled his body last night, cataloging every scar, every rise and dip of new muscle.
Their first night together had been too frenzied and needy to appreciate the changes. Last night, they’d been able to slow down and savor. The thought still moved something deep inside her, the same way it had last night.
“Mandy will bandage that for you,” she said, indicating the nurse, “and give you discharge instructions. Good luck to you.”
She thanked Mandy on the way out of the room and moved to the computer at the nurs
e’s station to add notes into the patient’s electronic chart. This had been one of those nonstop shifts, giving her the excuse she needed not to call Dylan back. But as her shift came to a close, he filled her thoughts, along with a very difficult decision she still had to make.
Emma looked at her phone. Cindy from Vanderbilt hadn’t called her back. Dylan hadn’t called her back either. Nor had he sent any texts. The lack of communication from him had her on edge. Normally he texted her photos and notes about the house every day. Today, nothing after that one phone call this morning.
“Hey there.”
Emma looked up and found Maizey standing at the counter. “Hey.”
“Flannigan’s got two cracked ribs,” she said, indicating one of Emma’s patients. “Seven and eight on the left. The full report’s in the system.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“So?” Maizey said. “What did you decide?”
Emma looked at her phone again. “I’m waiting for a call back from Cindy Marlow.”
Her brows shot up. “You’re staying?”
Emma’s stomach fluttered. Anxiety crawled up her spine. This decision terrified her. Literally terrified her. She tried to tell herself that was an old script playing in her head. Tried to pull her memories back to the way she and Dylan had connected last night, not this torturous decision, one she’d never dreamed she’d ever have to make—choosing between her dreams or Dylan.
“Don’t do that,” Maizey said, reading Emma’s emotions the way she’d been able to for decades. ”This isn’t life or death, Em.”
But it could be the life or death of her relationship with Dylan. A relationship she couldn’t even identify or label. Did sleeping together mean they were back together? Or were they just finding closure? Dylan had told her he loved her at least half a dozen times since he’d been home, but Emma hadn’t been able to return the words. Admitting to how deeply she still loved him absolutely paralyzed her.
She let out a deep breath and looked around to make sure no one was standing close enough to hear their conversation. “This just shouldn’t be so hard. I’m either willing to give us another shot or I’m not. It’s something I’ve dreamt about so many times, I’ve lost count. It’s why I waited so long to finalize the divorce. But once I did, I severed any possibility of us getting back together. Trying to undo that after four years isn’t as easy for me as it obviously is for Dylan. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s possible. I can’t seem to convince myself to invest my heart in him again. I mean, isn’t that the definition of insanity? Making the same mistakes and expecting a different result?”
Maizey tilted her head with a confused look. “Wait, are you waiting on the callback from Cindy to tell her you’re not taking the job?”
Emma blew out a breath. “I don’t even know anymore. I swear I’ve changed my answer a dozen times since I called her—yes, no, yes, no. Maybe it’s better that she hasn’t called back yet.”
“Why don’t you talk to Dylan about it?”
“Because this isn’t his decision to make. It’s mine.” He’d already taken too many of her choices away. “Besides, I already know where he stands. He’s been very clear. He’s signed a contract with a new network, and I’m glad, because he really needs family in his life. He’s not going to want me to go. But that can’t be part of the equation for my decision.”
Maizey gave her arm a squeeze. “Whatever you decide, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
Emma came out from behind the counter and hugged her friend. “Thank you.”
After finishing up with all her patients, Emma made her way to the car, wondering if Cindy not calling her back was a sign of some sort. Maybe they’d gotten tired of waiting for her answer and hired someone else. She wasn’t even sure how she’d feel if they had. Relieved? Disappointed?
Emma rolled down the driver’s window and let the cold air clear her head. If she was leaving, she really only had a couple of days to get everything done for the trip. She would need inoculations, money exchange, books on the area and the language. Then there was packing and moving out of her apartment.
The pressure mounted until she thought her chest would crack.
It looked like she was going to have to enlist Dylan’s help in making this decision after all. A surprising amount of relief flowed in the wake of that realization. It felt good to know she had someone at home who would really listen to her. Really understand her. For as much as she and Liam had in common, they had always been on different playing fields.
A new sensation of hope flowed as she drove toward Dylan. A sense of joy bubbled up and pushed her fears aside. It felt amazing to have someone to go home to. Someone who was interested in her day, her feelings, her needs. Only now did she realize how difficult it had been to enjoy her time with Liam, when Liam was always concerned about Liam.
The lights were on in her aunt’s house, and Dylan’s truck was in the drive. Emma’s heart lifted. Happiness pushed through her veins. All her worries faded.