Zahara lasered her focus to the wooden peg. To the motion of draping the cable over that peg. To Connor’s coos and giggles.
Breathe, she reminded herself. Just breathe.
Every time she thought of Chase, she seesawed between memories of bliss and humiliation. Emotions of longing and rage. But the shame hit much harder. Stuck far longer.
Zahara shoved all her unruly emotions into a dark corner. She could let them out later. Right now, she had to face Chase. Face him and act like nothing had happened between them. Pretend she hadn’t taken a huge leap of faith by trusting him. Imagine he hadn’t taken a chunk out of her heart and her self-worth by fucking around with Lila.
“Z,” Keaton said. “Did you hear me?”
She took her last breath, steeled herself to block emotion—from getting in or pouring out—turned and wandered back toward the group, her gaze everywhere but Chase. Still, he registered in her peripheral vision, in suit slacks and a button-down, hair gelled off his handsome face, stubble darkening his jaw. Very much the way he’d looked their first night together.
She picked up a towel and wiped her neck and face. “No, sorry. Didn’t hear you.”
“Chase just landed Vista’s role,” Wes said, his voice buoyant. “Isn’t that awesome?”
Zahara froze. Her stomach hardened to stone.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
When she dropped the towel, she cut a look at her Renegades first, hoping to read a gotcha in their eyes. But no. Both Wes and Keaton wore true expressions of excitement.
“He’s going to be a great addition to the team, no?” Despina said, also clearly excited by the news.
Zahara’s stomach fell to her feet. She’d have to spend the next two to three months working with Chase? Sixteen hours a day, six days a week, she’d have to look the biggest mistake of her life in the face? Pretend she didn’t care—about him? About them? About what a fool she’d been?
“Really.” She forced herself to give a nod of acknowledgment, but couldn’t manage to bolster any bogus excitement. “Good for you.”
Wes and Keaton looked at Chase, then each other, and finally back at Zahara, clearly bewildered by her lack of enthusiasm. She’d mastered fake emotions younger than she could remember. Had carved a path through the murky waters of emotional and physical abuse until she couldn’t take it anymore and moved out on her own at sixteen.
But facing Chase now, after letting him see the real her, after gifting him with her most valuable possession—trust—then getting a front row seat as he trampled it…
No. Just no.
“He’s going to be doing most of his own stunts too,” Keaton said, attempting to push the stalled conversation into motion. “You won’t have to deal with me kicking your ass for the next few months.”
“Right. I can kick his.” She nodded, looked at Chase, and lied. “This job just took a turn for the better.”
“There’s an all-hands meeting in thirty minutes,” Keaton said. “Michel’s going to introduce Chase.”
“Perfect.” Just fucking perfect.
She hooked the towel around her neck, before starting out. “I’m going to take a break.”
She stopped beside Despina to give Connor a kiss and say hello to Brooke, then exited the warehouse. She knew she was going to get the third degree from her Renegades before the end of the day. Hell, probably before lunchtime. But it would be worth the grilling if Chase had heard her don’t fuck with me loud and clear.
“Zahara, wait.” Chase’s voice shot a jolt of anger through her body.
His footsteps neared, and Zahara turned. Her gaze cut past his shoulder toward the open warehouse door. Despina and Brooke were still inside with Connor, but Keaton and Wes stood outside, watching. Zahara knew they were more worried than entertained and lifted her chin at them, a silent message that she could handle this. They glanced at each other before disappearing into the warehouse.
“Hey.” Chase’s expression was reserved, but his eyes sparkled with hope. Not something she cared to see from the man who’d stabbed her in the heart. “You look great.”
Pull up your big-girl pants, Z.
She crossed her arms over the fresh ache in her stomach. “You too. Congrats on the role.”
He flashed a quick smile. “Thanks.”
Then he sobered. “Are you ever going to answer my calls?”