Sweat broke over her brow and between her breasts. Her lower lip trembled, and she pressed her fingers to her mouth. This was too much. Too overwhelming.
Despina’s hand wrapped around Zahara’s, and she opened her eyes to her friend’s calming smile.
Zahara wasn’t one to accept help easily, but now, she squeezed Despina’s hand tight as the doctor explained the vaginal ultrasound and inserted a long thin camera. She was staring at the ceiling, thinking about how she was going to have to get used to all this medical bullshit, when Despina gasped softly.
Zahara glanced at Despina and found her gaze on the screen. Zahara waited a beat, took a slow breath and turned her head toward the doctor. The laptop was open on a side table, and something showed on the screen in shades of gray and black, but Zahara couldn’t make heads or tails out of it.
Before she could ask for clarification, the doctor pointed to the different shapes, showing her the uterus, a black area he called the gestational sac, and a grayish-white spot in the middle. “That’s the fetus.”
“What’s the difference between a fetus and a baby?” she asked.
“Nothing, really.” Dr. Cardinally met Zahara’s gaze. “It’s just a more medical term, one that carries less emotion. Over the years, I’ve found it easier on a woman to keep descriptions analytical in the early stages of indecision.”
“So that’s the baby,” she clarified.
He smiled. “Yes, Zahara, that’s your baby.”
Your. Baby.
Her mind slid sideways. Her stomach twisted. Her gaze jumped to the screen again, where the doctor enlarged the image and pointed out a little flicker inside the white oval that was her baby. Her baby.
“That’s the heartbeat.”
Flicker, flicker, flicker, flicker.
“H-holy…” She let her curse trail off. It felt inappropriate somehow. But seriously—Holy. Fuck. Zahara’s whole world tilted on its axis. She felt a trap door open beneath her feet. Her chest expanded with fear.
The doctor froze an image of the little kidney bean—baby, she reminded herself—and ended the exam. While he tended to his equipment, Zahara straightened her legs and pressed her fingers to closed eyelids, rubbing away tears.
A mechanical whir pulled her eyes open, and she saw a piece of paper roll out of the back of the machine. Doctor Cardinally handed it to her with a smile. “Baby’s first picture.”
Zahara took it with a shaking hand. The doctor started to close the lid of the computer, and she sputtered “Can I…” The words formed before the thought clarified. “Can I have one more? For the…um…the…”
“Father?” He smiled. “Of course.” He handed her another picture, then stood. “I’ll let you get dressed. Come on out when you’re done, and we can go over an appointment schedule. I’ll answer any additional questions you have.”
When he left the room, Despina squeezed Zahara’s hand. “What did he say about your work?”
Zahara repeated as much as she could remember.
“Well, that’s good news,” Despina said. “The part about you being able to work.”
Zahara blew out a breath and nodded. Then stared at the ceiling some more, her mind refusing to engage.
Despina finally asked the sixty-four-billion-dollar question. “What are you going to do?”
Zahara covered her eyes again. “I have no fucking idea.”
“You need to be prepared for resistance from Chase,” Despina said. “He won’t want you to continue working.”
/> Zahara’s mind scrambled. She was still trying to get her mind completely around the fact that she was pregnant. Even though she’d seen it with her own eyes, the reality didn’t want to sink in. She pulled her arm from her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“He’s already protective of you. Finding out you’re pregnant will tip his concern into the red zone.”
“How do you know he’s not going to freak out and bail?”
Despina laughed softly. “Chase doesn’t know how to bail. That’s why he’s in this mess with Lila. He’s loyal to a fault. And he’s a huge family man. Tight with his parents and his sisters. No, he won’t bail. He’ll lock on. And he can be just as stubborn as you.”
Zahara’s air exited her lungs on a long moan of misery. She hadn’t looked at it that way, but Despina was right.