And then they were grinning at each other, locked in one of those wild moments, heavy with meaning and emotion. A moment with the potential to be a turning point. Only, he wasn’t sure what it would be a turning point for.
The older couple stood, and Helen paused beside the table. Her wrinkled hand skimmed Sophia’s head in a sweet gesture. Her eyes came up and met Zach’s, then Tessa’s, then Zach’s again. “Cherish these moments, you two. They’ll be the ones you look back on and smile over in fifty years.” She glanced over her shoulder at Dick. “Right, sweetheart?”
Dick put a hand on Helen’s shoulder and leaned in to peek at Sophia. Then he turned to his wife. “Sure are. They’ll be gone before you know it.”
They said good-bye, and silence settled between Zach and Tessa again.
The waitress set the bill on the table, and Zach worked his wallet out of his back pocket. But with only one hand free, he had to hand it to Tessa to pull out the credit card. When the waitress left the table, Zach resettled with Sophia’s weight against him.
“Tessa,” he hedged, not sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I know this is happening really fast, and we’re working against a time limit…” He stopped, insecure over the words that seemed like they might take them in the right direction, because they were words that changed life as he knew it, and his bachelor’s brain was fighting to hold on to its way of life. “What if you did move here?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
Shit, what did he mean? “I just, I don't know, if you lived here, we can both be with her. It will allow me to see her after work. Days I’m not filming, I could take her to give you a break. Then maybe we could just use the babysitter now and then and not need a full-time nanny."
Tessa was giving him that blank stare, the one Sophia used just a while ago when they told her that he was her father. She sighed, rested her head in her hand, and seemed to think about what she was going to say next. "I know it’s unsettling to think about us leaving when you just found out about her and are just beginning to get to know her. And I appreciate you wanting to be with her more and being willing to include me in that.”
“I hear a but coming.”
She smiled a little. “But…” She said the word rising on the last syllable. “Here’s the thing. Every time you make a change in Sophia’s life, you have to think about the consequences long-term. Us moving here just creates a whole new set of problems and adjustments. Sophia is established in school, she loves her teachers, she has friends—”
A little bubble of panic burst inside him. “I’ve always heard kids were adaptable. Sophia is adorable, and there are plenty of great schools here with teachers who will love her. She’ll make new friends.”
“Zach, she just lost Corinne. Hell, she still asks and talks about her. She’s been through a lot of change recently. Over the last six months, when Corinne was going downhill fast, Sophia started acting out. Tonight is an example of how that has continued. She never used to throw tantrums or fuss.”
“She’s a kid. She’s three. Did you ever think that it might be part of a stage she’s going through?”
Tessa rolled her eyes. “She needs stability. She needs to know that the things and people she loves will be there for her.”
“I can’t be there for her if I’m here and she’s there.”
“You’re not an established element in her life yet.”
“How can I become one if you take her to the other side of the country?”
Tessa sighed and closed her eyes. “I know this situation isn’t perfect, but we have to put Sophia first.”
“Are you putting Sophia first or are you putting yourself first?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Zach felt like shit for saying them.
She opened her eyes and stabbed him with a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, if you stay where you are, you don’t have to share Sophia. You don’t have to worry about sharing her attention, her affection, or her time. Your perfectly designed little world stays intact. You don’t have to alter your schedule, you don’t have to change your job.”
Her eyes narrowed and her lips firmed. “If I wasn’t willing to share Sophia, I wouldn’t be here right now. If my little world was so perfectly designed, Corinne wouldn’t be dead, and I wouldn’t be sitting here.”
Zach leaned back, exhaled heavily, and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I get that you’ve made a lot of changes in your life for Corinne and Sophia. I get that you probably don’t want to make more—”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with me not wanting to make changes.” Her voice was low but deliberate, her expression intense. This was the woman who practiced law. “I’ve done nothing but make changes. I was a breath away from partnership at one of the largest law firms in DC when Corinne told me the cancer had spread and she wasn’t going to live to see Sophia off to her first day of kindergarten. I changed my entire life for Sophia. I walked away from big money, prestige, and important cases for the possibility of a junior partner’s position at the firm I’m with—all so I could work from home three days a week.”
“I’m…sorry.” Zach’s jaw went slack. His mind bent. He shook his head. “I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you know.” The fight in her tone fell away, and her expression softened into one far more familiar. “If I was to move here, I’d be starting all over. Working from home is a privilege you earn, and one not many firms offer. I’d be away from her five days a week. You’d be working sixteen-hour days, able to, what? Pop in and read her a bedtime story? Maybe? Spend part of a Sunday playing with her at the beach? Is that what you envisioned for fatherhood? And who knows where you’ll be next year? Will they keep you on for another season? If not, then what will you do? Do you really expect me and Sophia to follow you wherever you go—”
“No,” he said, too forcefully. “I just—I don’t know.”
He exhaled and sank against the chair. Closing his eyes, he pressed a kiss to Sophia’s head. He’d just met her, and now he was going to lose her. God, that twisted a knife in his gut.
Maybe he shouldn’t take the part. Only, without it, he’d have to go back to the piece work he’d been doing for years. A modeling job here, a Surfer magazine photo shoot there. He’d have to win competitions to earn sponsorships. Which meant he’d have to practice relentlessly and travel.