An Unconventional Countess (Regency Belles of Bath 1)
Page 35
‘Do you forget that I was born Lady Elizabeth Holden?’
‘You’re different. You ran away from all that.’
‘I still loved my family a great deal. It broke my heart to leave them, but I knew it was the only way I could be with your father. I only wish there had been another way. I miss them even now.’
‘Mama, they disowned you!’
‘That doesn’t mean they were happy about it. My father was a proud man. I never expected him to accept or forgive what I did, but I do believe that he loved me, and continued to love me, in his own way. I wanted to go to his funeral, but your Uncle Anthony would have been horrified. They were always very alike.’
Anna lifted the toasting fork again, holding it close to the fireplace. ‘What about my other uncle, your youngest brother?’
‘Tobias? Oh, he was more like our mother. I think he would have forgiven me. With him and her, I think there might still be a chance of reconciliation, even after all these years.’
‘So you want to see them again?’
‘Yes.’ Her mother didn’t hesitate. ‘Yes, I do.’
‘What about Father? If you go back to that life, then it’ll be like he never existed.’
‘Except that I have you and Sebastian and many years of happy marriage to remember him by.’ Her mother’s gaze warmed. ‘It’s not a betrayal of your father to move on. He always felt bad about the rift with my family and if he were still here then I know he’d want me to be happy.’ Her mother’s hand curled around her arm, drawing the fork back before the toast burned. ‘He would have wanted you and Sebastian to be reconciled with my family, as well. He always wanted to give you more in life.’
‘He gave us everything we needed. You both did.’
‘Yes, but there are other ways that my family could help you.’ Her mother smiled hopefully. ‘Come to the evening party with me. Let yourself have some fun. You work too hard.’
‘I don’t know...’
‘Anna.’ Her mother’s voice turned slightly chiding. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to stay in our own little worlds than venture out, but prejudice has a way of shrinking the opportunities around us. If you aren’t careful the person you end up hurting is yourself. Bitterness and resentment aren’t very attractive qualities.’
‘Maybe I like my life the way it is.’
‘You can still like it and come to the party, too. Please, as a favour for me.’
Anna groaned, dropping the piece of toast on to a plate. Doing a favour for her mother was all well and good, but the thought of spending an evening with a group of people she’d spent years resenting gave her the shudders. On the other hand, maybe she had become too prejudiced. Maybe she’d let her feelings about what had happened eight years ago control her to the point that she really had become afraid to leave her ‘own little world’ as her mother called it? Maybe she’d overreacted when Captain Delaney had told her about his grandmother’s plan, even if it hadn’t been for the reasons he’d thought? Maybe that was why she’d refused to forgive him for his behaviour when they’d first met despite his apology, too? And maybe she was holding him accountable for the sins of a man he’d never met and knew nothing about?
The memory of a letter and an innocent walk and an alleyway floated into her mind before she buried it quickly, deep down where it belonged.
‘What would I even wear, Mama?’ She tried a different tack instead. ‘I don’t want to waste money on a gown that I’ll only wear once and, before you say anything, I don’t want the Baroness’s charity.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘So unless I can persuade someone to purchase a year’s supply of biscuits in one go...’
‘You won’t need to. I have some money saved.’
‘Not for a dress, Mama.’
‘Yes, for a dress. We’ll buy some material and make something new.’
‘How? Your hands are too swollen for you to sew and I’m terrible at it.’
‘I’m not.’ Henrietta stuck her head around the doorway that led to the shop. ‘I’m sorry, I
wasn’t eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help but overhear. I could make you a dress.’
‘I couldn’t ask you to...’
‘You’re not. I’m offering and I’m good at making clothes. Please let me. I want to make amends.’