‘Didn’t your father stop you?’
‘I didn’t tell him. I said I had some errands to run and went off in my best dress and bonnet.’ She swallowed against a tight, burning sensation in her throat. ‘I was so excited.’
Samuel stood up abruptly, placing one foot on the bench beside her as if he were bracing himself. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing at first. We met at the end of the street like he’d suggested, only he took me in a different direction from the park. I thought he must have made a mistake, but when I asked where we were going he just gave me a funny look and said he was taking me to meet his family.’
‘But you didn’t believe him?’
‘I’m not that naive. I told him I wanted to go back home, but he wouldn’t listen. He got angrier and angrier, accusing me of flirting with him and saying that I’d led him to expect certain...things.’
‘Did he touch you?’
She jerked her chin up, alarmed by the note of raw anger in his voice. His expression was furious, his jaw clenched so tight that she could see the pulse of a vein in his neck.
‘Yes.’ She dropped her gaze again, feeling a rush of shame as she remembered the way he’d grabbed and fondled her breasts. ‘But he didn’t get what he wanted. I knew where to kick him so I did. As hard as I could.’
‘Good.’
‘Then I ran.’ She shook her head, trying to remove the memory of that run, thinking that her heart might actually burst with panic, that he might catch up with her at any second. ‘I was terrified for days afterwards that he’d come back to the shop, but thankfully he didn’t. I never saw him again at all. Then, after the fear had passed, I felt so stupid and humiliated and dirty. I’d thought that he’d genuinely liked me, but he barely saw me as a person.’ She gave a bitter laugh. ‘So you see, when you accused me of blind prejudice it wasn’t strictly true. There was a reason. I didn’t always hate gentlemen, either. I was just scared of being tricked and deceived again.’
‘And I tricked you that first day...’ Samuel dropped his boot back to the ground, muttering a series of barely distinguishable oaths before sitting down beside her. ‘Anna, I’m so sorry.’
‘What you did was different.’
‘Not that different. I’ll never deceive you again, I promise.’
‘I know. I trust you and I accepted your apology, remember?’
He reached for her hand, folding his fingers around it. ‘If I’d known, I would never have accused you of being prejudiced.’
‘But you were right. I blamed the whole of the aristocracy just because I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t tell anyone.’
‘You didn’t tell your parents?’
‘No. I knew that my father would have done something foolish and Sebastian would probably have joined him. Then they’d both have been hanged.’
‘So you never told anyone?’
‘It was too shameful.’ She tried to pull her fingers away, but he wouldn’t let her, his own tightening as she tried to withdraw.
‘You’ve no reason to feel that way. He’s the one who ought to feel ashamed of himself.’
‘I know, or at least my head knows that. It’s just hard convincing the rest of me sometimes.’ She looked up at him anxiously. The lines on his face showed he was still tense, though he seemed to be looking inward rather than out. ‘Don’t you judge me?’
‘For being an innocent young woman who thought she was going for a walk?’ His gaze softened. ‘You trusted the wrong person, but you’ve nothing to blame yourself for.’
‘Thank you.’
He lifted her hand, pulling her fingers gently to his lips and holding them there. ‘What was his name?’
‘What?’ She gave him a startled glance. ‘Why?’
‘I want to know.’
‘So you can do what?’
‘Ever hear of running the gauntlet?’