‘Only eventually I worked it out for myself,’ Alan forestalled him. ‘I knew that it must have had something to do with Blanche, but I didn’t understand what or how until recently. Maybe I had to grow up first.’
Matthew clenched his brows in surprise. ‘Father told you?’
‘Father?’ Alan snorted. ‘As if we ever talk! What I mean is that it just took me a while to understand how things were between the two of you. How you felt about her, I mean.’
‘How I felt?’
‘Yes.’ Alan looked abashed. ‘It was Adelaide who helped me to understand. Until I met her, I didn’t realise how love could affect a person. It made me think about how I’d react if anything happened to her. I don’t think I’d be able to talk about it or to stay in the same place either. Now I understand how you felt after what happened to Blanche.’
Matthew stared at his brother, dumbstruck, trying to work out which part of his statement to address first. ‘You mean you and Adelaide...?’
‘I love her.’ Alan broke into an incongruous smile. ‘It’s wicked and wrong, I know, but I can’t help it. She means everything to me.’
‘You love Adelaide?’ Matthew felt a sudden and intense sense of dread. ‘Have you told her that?’
‘No, not yet.’
‘What about her? Has she told you?’
‘No. She’s never said that she cares for me at all, not in so many words, but when we look at each other... I know that she does.’
Matthew rubbed a hand over his forehead, recalling the strange smile on Adelaide’s face when she’d spoken to him about Alan the previous night. When she’d asked him to stay for Alan’s sake... Was it possible?
‘What about Father? Does he suspect?’
Alan made a sound of derision. ‘Father would never believe there was anything between us. We could run away together and he’d still never accept that she’d choose a weakling like me over someone like him.’
‘Is that what you’re planning, to run away together?’
‘We’re not planning anything, not yet anyway, but I need to look after her, to protect her. You know what it’s like, living with him. I don’t want what happened to Blanche to happen to Adelaide, too.’ His expression turned hopeful. ‘I thought maybe you might help us. You’re the only one who can understand.’
‘No.’ Matthew held up a hand. ‘This is madness. Whatever’s going on between the pair of you has to end. Now.’
Alan’s head jerked backwards as if he’d just been hit. ‘So it was all right for you and Blanche, but not for me and Adelaide? How can you of all people judge us?’
‘Because you’re wrong. There was never anything between me and Blanche!’
‘What?’
‘She was dear to me, but not like that.’
‘But you were always together!’
‘That doesn’t mean we were in love. What on earth made you think so?’
‘Everything! You were so close and I know that you argued that last night...and you and Father were both on the roof when she fell. I thought that he must have found out about the two of you and she was frightened of what he might do to her.’
‘No.’ Matthew closed his eyes. ‘She didn’t jump, if that’s what you think. She was scared of him, but what happened was an accident.’
‘But if the pair of you weren’t lovers then why did you leave?’ Alan looked even more confused. ‘You weren’t the same afterwards and you and Father wanted to kill each other, I could see it. I thought you were heartbroken.’
‘I was.’ Matthew ran his hands over his face. ‘Not because I loved her, but because I cared for her as a friend. I left because it was my fault, what happened to her. If I hadn’t been so close to her, then Father wouldn’t have become jealous. Then when she came to me for help I should have—’ He stopped, suddenly recalling Constance’s lack of surprise the previous night, as well as the way she’d glowered at him through dinner...the dinner where she’d sat next to his brother... ‘Alan? You didn’t by any chance tell Constance any of this, did you?’
‘Well...’ his brother’s expression turned awkward ‘...that was the other reason I followed you out here. I thought you should know that she asked me about Blanche last night.’
Matthew felt a definite sinking feeling. ‘What did you tell her?’
‘I was only trying to explain. I thought it might help.’