‘Why not now?’
Chapter Eighteen
Matthew wasn’t sure how it had happened, but he had the distinct impression that all of the air had been sucked out of the room and up through the chimney suddenly. Either that or he’d forgotten how to breathe.
Why not now?
The question seemed to reverberate around his head, searching for and failing to find a good enough answer. There were answers he could give—the fact that they were still under his father’s roof at Wintercott, that he’d just told her his deepest, darkest secret, that he’d intended to wait until they reached Lacelby—only none of them seemed particularly persuasive at that moment. What was persuasive was the feeling of his wife in his arms, her luscious curves covered in only a thin day gown, making it hard for him to think coherently at all. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were a tempestuous and sultry dark grey, swirling as if there were actual storm clouds building inside them, tempting him to forget everything else and act instead.
So he did. He slid his hands down her neck and behind her shoulder blades, crushing her against him as a tide of desire swept through his body like a hot, seething wave, overwhelming his senses. The warmth of her breath against his skin, the delicate aroma of rose water that clung to her hair, the tantalising proximity of her lips... Why not now?
‘Are you certain?’ His voice sounded more like a growl, though mercifully it seemed not to scare her. On the contrary, it seemed to have the opposite effect as she coiled her arms around his neck, threading her hands through his hair and then pulling his head back down to hers.
He groaned as he captured her mouth with his, hungrily this time, trying to hold back the full force of his desire as her lips softened and started to move. They were warm and velvety smooth, sweet and intoxicating as honeyed mead. He reached behind her back, pulling away her headdress and then removing the tie from her braid, letting the dark locks unravel over his fingers.
‘Beautiful,’ he murmured, pressing his face into the waves as he slid a hand down her spine and over her bottom, drawing her close until they were completely entwined and he could feel every part of her body, supple and yielding and breathtakingly desirable against his.
Slowly, he moved his lips downwards, trailing a row of hot kisses along her jawline and over her neck. When he reached the base of her throat, he opened his mouth and let his tongue take over, tasting and sucking while his fingers pulled deftly at the laces at the back of her gown, loosening the fabric and sliding it downwards.
A fresh wave of desire coursed through him as he took in the exposed curves of her breasts. She made a move as if to cover them with her arms, but he grabbed hold of her wrists, holding them out to the sides as he smiled and then lowered his head to the dip between the mounds. She seemed to stiffen for a moment, then arched her neck as he let go of her arms and cupped a breast in each hand instead, caressing the skin with his fingers as his tongue encircled and suckled each taut nipple.
She gasped and he lifted his head, smiling with pleasure at the sound. It made him want to hear it again, only louder. He wanted to hear her moan, too, to bury himself inside her and hear her cry out with release. He wanted to kiss and stroke and caress every part of her. At that precise moment, it was hard to remember ever wanting anything more in his life. He couldn’t remember ever being this aroused before. His shaft was straining almost painfully against his breeches, but it was still too soon. He had to wait until she was moist and ready, even if waiting was torture.
She met his gaze then, holding it steadily as she slid her arms from his neck and around his waist again, gripping the edges of his tunic and pulling it up over his head. It was all the encouragement he needed, pushing the rest of her gown to the floor, pausing briefly to drop another lingering kiss on her lips before scooping his hands behind her thighs and half-lifting, half-guiding her back towards the bed.
They tumbled downwards together, tearing at the rest of each other’s clothes until they were lying naked on top of the coverlet. He moved to one side, resisting the urge to simply climb on top of her, and then turned his attention back to her mouth, sliding his tongue deep inside, less tenderly this time, though to his surprise, her tongue joined with his almost as fiercely, kissing him back as he stroked one hand over the tops of her thighs and then let it rest between her legs, slowly but insistently nudging them apart. He heard the breath catch in her throat and deepened the kiss at the same moment as he let his fingers do what the rest of his body wanted, caressing her gently until she pulled away suddenly, eyes wide with surprise.
‘Matthew?’ She made his name into a question.
‘I can stop if you want.’ He wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to speak so calmly.
‘Don’t you dare.’ Her tone was defiant and he grinned and rolled her on to her back, twining one of his hands through hers and lifting it to his mouth, kissing each of her fingers in turn.
‘Matthew...’ Her voice held a pleading note this time.
‘I don’t want to hurt you.’ He moved on top of her, pushing her legs further apart and positioning himself at her entrance. ‘Are you certain you want this?’
‘I want this.’ She tilted her hips in response, pressing herself so hard against his shaft that he was unable to restrain himself any longer, thrusting inside and then holding still as she cried out and stiffened beneath him.
‘Constance?’ he murmured her name, fighting his instincts as every nerve in his body screamed at him to keep moving. She felt even better than he’d imagined.
‘Yes.’ She spoke firmly, giving him permission, and he groaned aloud in relief, sliding back gently and then pushing inwards again.
‘Tell me if it hurts.’ He forced the words out, trying to hold back the full force of his desire. As much as he wanted to go deeper, to sheathe himself completely, he needed to remember that she’d been a virgin and hold on to some restraint. He just needed to remember...
&n
bsp; ‘It doesn’t. Not any more.’ She shifted her hips beneath him, moving slowly at first to match his rhythm, then faster and faster, curling her legs around his back and clutching his waist to lock their bodies together, until he forgot everything else except the heat of her body and the slick of sweat building between them. She was panting and writhing as if she were close to her climax, which he sincerely hoped was the case since he didn’t think he could hold on for much longer. The way her hips were rolling against his was driving him to the very limits of endurance.
‘Constance...’ He thrust deeper still, willing her to let go and himself to hold on until she dug her fingers into his skin suddenly, her body shuddering and convulsing beneath his as she cried out with what he sincerely hoped was pleasure. The sound pushed him over the edge, too, deep into her body as he emptied his seed and collapsed on top of her.
He wasn’t sure how long it took for him to come back to his senses, though he gradually became aware of her voice, no less intense and yet slightly pained.
‘Matthew? I can’t breathe...’
He lifted his head, belatedly realising that he was almost crushing her, and moved quickly to one side, seized with a fierce pang of remorse. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I am now.’ She smiled shyly at him. ‘You’re even heavier than you look.’