‘Next I would kiss you here.’ He moved his head lower, dragging the neck of her shift down over one shoulder and trailing his lips along the line of her collarbone, then darting his tongue out to kiss the hollow at the base of her neck. ‘And here...and all over...’
‘And what would I do?’
‘Whatever you wanted.’ His lips stilled for a moment. ‘You could kiss me, too, or touch me, or just lie back and enjoy it.’
She decided to try all three suggestions at once, closing her eyes as she smoothed her hands over his shoulders and back, tracing the contours of each corded muscle. Surges of pleasure pulsed in small waves through her body and the knot in her stomach tightened almost painfully. Except that it wasn’t quite her stomach. It was lower than that, between her thighs, thighs and hips that had started to move and strain upwards of their own accord. It seemed almost impossible to keep still.
‘Sissa.’ He growled her name and she tipped her head back, seized w
ith a new thrill of excitement. His body was straining against hers in a way that left her in no doubt about what he wanted and how much he wanted it. She wanted it, too, she realised, and just as badly. She was a long way beyond curiosity now and in more danger than she’d imagined was possible when she’d simply asked how it would feel, yet she still couldn’t bring herself to stop. Instead, she trailed her hands across his chest, amazed at how hard and solid he felt beneath her fingertips, sliding them around his neck and into his hair as his lips claimed hers again. She felt... What did she feel? As if she were trying to reach some elusive peak of feeling, but also that she never wanted it to end...
They moaned simultaneously as one of his legs slid between her thighs, nudging them gently but firmly apart. And then a hand gripped the hem of her shift, drawing it up around her waist, and she felt a flutter of panic. Touching and kissing him was one thing, but this was too much, too quickly... Something about it didn’t feel right. Something was missing. Anxiety overtook excitement. Maybe inviting him into her bed had been a mistake, after all. Even aside from the sheer overwhelmingness of it, there could be other consequences, too, ones that she wasn’t ready to deal with... She opened her mouth, about to protest, when he moved away suddenly, muttering an oath as he rolled to the other side of the bed.
‘Danr?’ She sat up, her body still tingling from his touch, her emotions torn between relief and surprise as she pulled her shift back up around her shoulders.
‘I’m sorry.’ He half-turned his head though he didn’t look at her, his voice thick-sounding. ‘I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. And curiosity isn’t a good enough reason, trust me. It...mating, should mean more.’
‘You mean love?’
He looked briefly over his shoulder and then away again. ‘Yes.’
‘Oh.’ She looked down at her hands. Just a moment ago they’d been pressed against his skin, caressing, exploring, taking pleasure from the heat and silken feel of his body. Now they felt cold and empty, but curiosity wasn’t enough... She pursed her lips. He was right. It was the conclusion she’d just come to as well, the reason she’d been about to ask him to stop. She only wished that she’d been the one to say it first.
If only she hadn’t invited him into the roundhouse! If only the storm hadn’t awoken her! If only he’d told her that curiosity wasn’t enough beforehand! But he had, she realised. He’d been trying to deter her from the start, telling her he was trying to be good and saying he wasn’t ‘mate material’. Her cheeks flamed as an even worse thought occurred to her. What if she’d been mistaken about him desiring her at all? What if he’d only gone along with things because he’d felt he had to? Because she might not have let him stay otherwise...
‘I’m sorry.’ He was speaking again, she realised with a jolt. ‘I shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place.’
‘You didn’t.’ Her voice sounded hoarse. ‘I kissed you first because I was curious. It was foolish of me.’
‘No. It wasn’t foolish, it was...’ He shook his head, as if he were at a loss for words again. ‘But you deserve a real mate, someone to love and cherish you. I’m not that man. I’m not good or worthy enough and...’ his expression looked torn ‘...even if I were, I made an oath.’
‘An oath?’ She stared at him, uncomprehending. ‘What kind of oath?’
* * *
Danr cleared his throat once, twice and then a third time for good measure, not that doing so brought him any kind of relief. His oath wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, especially under the present circumstances. He was already alarmed by how close he’d come to breaking it. Even now, with Sissa looking so gut-wrenchingly desirable, all mussed-up hair and kiss-swollen lips, he had to concentrate all his attention on staring at his hands and regulating his breathing just to control the urge to pounce on her again. She’d been curious about mating and he’d been severely tempted to assuage that curiosity. He’d wanted to assuage other things, too, but he’d managed to stop himself just in time—although he had an underlying feeling that she’d been about to stop him, too. Something about her body language had changed when he’d drawn her shift up, enough to give him the jolt he’d needed to break their embrace. But he should never have given in to the temptation to touch her in the first place! Which meant that any painful effects he was suffering now were only what he deserved.
‘Danr?’ Her voice was still slightly breathless, he noticed, enough to send a fresh shiver of desire coursing through his veins. But she’d asked him a question...
‘Three years ago I made an oath. Not to...to mate until I made some kind of amends for what happened at Alarr’s wedding.’
‘Oh.’ There was a brief pause. ‘That sounds like a strange kind of oath.’
‘It seemed like the only thing I could do at the time. I had reasons. One particular reason.’ He sucked in a deep breath and then blew it out slowly between his teeth. ‘I wish I could mate with you, truly, but I can’t.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ He risked another brief look over his shoulder, then wished he hadn’t. ‘You’ve no idea how desirable you are, Sissa.’
She made a dismissive sound. ‘No, I’m not. I look like a tree.’
‘A beautiful tree.’ He gave a curt laugh. ‘Maybe that’s why you belong in the forest.’
‘You don’t have to say that.’
‘Why would I lie?’
‘So that I’ll let you stay?’