‘A few days. At first Tove looked after me.’ She threw an affectionate glance towards the wolf. ‘She kept the other animals at bay and brought me food.’
‘Your mother was wise.’
‘Yes. She wanted me to survive so I did. That’s why I did, for her, not for me.’ She shuddered. ‘After the raiders left all I wanted was to lie down in the dirt at my mother’s side and never get up. Instead, I laid stones over her body and cried. It was all I could do.’
She turned and looked out across the sea to the hills of the mainland beyond. ‘You asked me once if I was lonely. I was then. Coblaith was company of a sort, but we couldn’t talk and then she left, too. There were times when I thought I might go mad. Then the new Norsemen came and built the village where your enemy lives now. I watched them do it and thought about going there. One day I went closer for a look, but the people thought I was a ghost and ran away.’ She gave a tight laugh. ‘Maybe I should have brushed my hair first.’
He didn’t laugh back. ‘Why didn’t you tell them who you were?’
‘I couldn’t.’
‘Couldn’t?’
‘I couldn’t speak. I tried, but it was as though my voice had become trapped inside me. I couldn’t say a word.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I don’t know whether it was because I’d become so used to not speaking or because I had doubts about being there, but that’s when I knew it was too late for me to go back. I knew I could never live among people again. I could never be a part of their world. Then I realised that it was useful for them to be afraid of me. I knew that their fear and the forest would keep me safe.’
‘And you’ve been keeping yourself safe ever since?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘My voice came back after a while, but I didn’t use it very often, only with Tove occasionally. Now nobody comes near me except when they’re sick or injured, then they always hurry away.’ She paused. ‘Everyone except you. You’re the only one who wouldn’t go away, the only person I’ve spoken to properly in five years.’
‘Then I’m honoured...’ he inclined his head slightly ‘...and sorry. For forcing you to speak that day.’
‘You made me so angry, I couldn’t help shouting at you.’
‘I’m good at provoking people.’ He looked regretful. ‘But if I’d known what you’d been through, I would never have done it.’
‘Part of me is glad that you did. It feels good to talk again, just for a while.’
‘But there’s still one thing I don’t understand. How did you end up helping the villagers if they’re so scared of you?’
‘One day about two years ago I came across a man who’d been gored by a stag. The people around him were mending the wound badly so I did it for them. I think they didn’t dare stop me. Then a few days later, someone came to the edge of the forest and hung a necklace from one of the trees. Ever since then, people have been coming to me for help and giving me food and clothing in return. That’s why I go to the edge of the forest every so often.’
‘But maybe you could speak to them now?’ He caught her hand, holding it between his. ‘You could explain all this to them the way you have to me. You don’t need to worry about the same thing happening again. There are more people here now, more warriors to defend the village. You could be safe there.’
‘Nowhere is safe, not really—besides, why should I trust them? I’ve seen what people are capable of. Warriors...’ She looked down at their joined hands, feeling a chill despite the warmth of his skin. ‘The forest is my home. I know how to survive here.’
‘But you can do more than survive. There should be more to life than survival, Sissa. You could go—’
‘No!’ she interrupted him, squeezing his hand until he fell silent. ‘This is who I am and where I belong. If there had been a way for me to find out who those raiders were and get justice for my family, I would have taken it, but there wasn’t. But if there is for you, then I want to help.’
‘What?’ His shoulders stiffened visibly. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean that you might not be able to go to the village and confront your stepmother, but I can. I can show her those pendants and find out the truth.’
* * *
Danr held himself very still, shocked into silence by her words, by their surroundings, by all of it. He’d suspected that something terrible had happened in her past, yet the idea of another massacre had never occurred to him. It was so similar to his own story and yet somehow even worse. At least he’d been a grown man in Maerr, but she’d been little more than a child, watching the slaughter of everyone she knew in the world before being left to survive almost completely alone in the wild for five years... And now she was offering to help him—him of all people! As if he were worthy of her help. As if he were the one who’d suffered the most! He wanted to wrap her tight in his arms and then track down every last member of that raiding party and get justice for her, too.
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘Only for you.’ She thrust her jaw out. ‘You said that you didn’t show your stepmother the pendants when you first confronted her, didn’t you?’
‘No. I mentioned them, but I never showed her.’
‘Then let me do it. Maybe I’ll be able to tell something from her reaction.’
‘She knows I’m on the island somewhere. She’ll assume I gave them to you.’
‘Or she’ll think I found them on your body and simply took them. It doesn’t matter. She’ll be frightened enough that I know they’re hers. She’ll think I have some power to see the truth.’ She shrugged. ‘She can ask me whatever she wants; I won’t answer.’