Besieged and Betrothed

‘No!’ She sounded shocked. ‘I’d never say such a thing! Of course a woman can rule.’

‘Then doesn’t that put us on the same side?’

She pursed her lips as if she were choosing her words with care. ‘In principle, yes, I believe in Matilda’s claim, but in practice I have to support Stephen. I want peace more than I want to prove a point.’

‘The Empress can bring peace, too.’

‘Can she? My father didn’t say that she couldn’t rule, just that she wouldn’t be allowed to. Most men aren’t ready to accept a woman giving orders.’

‘There are a few exceptions among us.’ He paused meaningfully. ‘Your soldiers, for example.’

She made a dismissive gesture. ‘They’re just used to me. No one here thinks of me as a woman.’

‘Then they must be blind. Perhaps you underestimate your charms, my lady.’

Her lips parted slightly, a pink blush spreading over her cheeks as if she were genuinely shocked by his words. A memory stirred at the back of his consciousness. She’d blushed like that when she’d first invited him inside the castle, yet the image in his mind now was different, as if it had taken place in darker surroundings, somewhere like this very hall...

He shifted in his chair as his groin tightened uncomfortably. Hell’s teeth, but the dreams had been vivid. He could almost taste her lips again.

‘Forgive me...’ he fought to regain focus ‘...but if your father really believed that a woman wouldn’t be permitted to rule, why did he raise his daughter to follow him as chatelaine? He clearly trusted you to command.’

Her gaze flickered. ‘Maybe because he didn’t have any sons.’

‘He could have found a suitable son-in-law.’

‘He would never have done that!’ She tossed her head as if the very suggestion offended her. ‘He trained me for the same reason that he kept on supporting the Empress, because he knew things would never change if no one stood up for what was right. He had a higher opinion of women than most men do, though people said he was foolish. First in marrying for love, then raising his daughter to act like a boy, but he wanted me to be free to choose my own path.’ She pulled her shoulders back. ‘In any case, I doubt he would have been able to find a husband for someone like me.’

Lothar looked her up and down speculatively. It hadn’t occurred to him to think of her as boyish before, though he supposed most men wouldn’t want a bride who was quite so independent. Not to mention one who seemed oblivious to the idea that she could actually enhance her appearance by changing her gown occasionally. Not that she needed to enhance anything. Those flashing jade eyes were enticing enough on their own. On second thoughts, perhaps it was better that she didn’t change her gown after all... His breeches were straining enough as it was.

‘What do you think?’ She rounded on him.

‘What do I think?’ That he’d like to see her without any gown at all! ‘I think he was a cleverer man than I am.’

She gave a bitter-sounding laugh. ‘I think that maybe everyone else was right. I did let him down in the end. I surrendered the castle to his enemy, Stephen. Maybe he shouldn’t have left me in charge.’ Her face crumpled suddenly. ‘And now I’m not fit for anything else.’

He felt a tightening sensation in his chest, struck by the uncharacteristic urge to say or do something comforting, to wrap his arms around her and whisper words of reassurance. For all her defiance, it seemed that deep down she was more vulnerable than he’d realised, doubting her own ability to be chatelaine after all. He even half-raised a hand before he stopped himself.

‘I told you, my lady, there’s no shame in surrender. You had no choice at the time, but considering your oath of allegiance...’ He forced the words out reluctantly. ‘Perhaps you ought to go to Stephen.’

‘What?’ She looked as horrified as if he’d just struck her.

‘You gave him your allegiance and lost your castle because of it. He’ll take care of you.’

‘You mean leave Haword?’

‘Of course.’ Surely she knew that? ‘The Empress will want to appoint a new lord.’

‘But this is my home!’

‘It was your home,’ he said the words as gently as he could, ‘but you can’t remain here indefinitely. You ought to leave as soon as you’re ready. Your men, too, unless they’re willing to serve Sir Guian.’

‘What am I supposed to do at Stephen’s Court?’

‘Doubtless he’ll arrange a marriage for you.’

Green eyes flashed like emerald studs. ‘I’ve just told you I’m not the kind of woman men want to marry.’

‘Stephen should still reward you for your loyalty.’