Besieged and Betrothed

‘Still?’ She asked the question hesitantly. ‘I thought the Empress might have had our marriage annulled.’

‘Is that what you want?’ His voice sounded tense again.

‘I...’ She faltered. She didn’t know what she wanted. She knew she didn’t want to be married, though that didn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t want him...did it?

‘In any case, she doesn’t have the power.’ His expression turned to a scowl. ‘Do you think I’d be sharing a bed with you if she did?’

‘No, I suppose not.’ She caught her breath unsteadily. That was true. Everyone in the castle must know where they were now, not to mention the fact that they were alone. In which case, there was no turning back. They were definitely, irrevocably married. ‘So Haword is yours.’

‘No, it’s ours.’ He sighed. ‘Do I really need to tell you again, Juliana? I don’t want to take anything away from you. To all intents and purposes, the castle is still yours to command. I won’t interfere. I only hold it for the Empress.’

She stared at him in astonishment. ‘So you don’t want to take over? Not at all?’

‘Only in name. That way you’re protected against retribution from Stephen.’

> ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean in case he ever comes back. In the unlikely event of my losing a battle against him, you can tell him you were forced to marry me against your will.’

‘But that’s...’

‘The truth?’

She held his gaze uneasily. That was the truth, though the thought of him fighting Stephen made her feel wretched. She’d given her allegiance to Stephen over Matilda, not over her husband. If only the two weren’t so utterly incompatible.

One side of his mouth curved upwards. ‘You can tell him what a hard-hearted, mercenary bastard I am.’

‘No!’ She spoke more vehemently than she intended.

‘No?’ He looked amused. ‘It might be safer for you to renounce me.’

‘I would never! Who calls you that?’

‘Half the Empress’s army for a start. It won’t be anything Stephen hasn’t heard before. My reputation precedes me.’

‘But you’re none of those things. If you were, you wouldn’t have come back and honoured your promise to my father.’ She tossed her head defiantly. ‘I won’t condemn you to Stephen, not for any reason.’

He regarded her intently for a few moments before he smiled. ‘He’d have to defeat me first.’

She picked up another chunk of bread, chewing on it thoughtfully as the implications of his words sank in. It seemed that their marriage protected her even more effectively than her father had realised, providing her with a buffer against Matilda, as well as a defence for her behaviour to Stephen if she ever needed one. Lothar seemed to have thought of everything, as if he were truly determined to protect her. Though it also left her without a side, as if she were stuck in the middle again.

She peered up at him from under her lashes. Strange how, sitting in bed beside him like this, the idea of marriage didn’t bother her so much any more, but how did he feel about it? She’d been so wrapped up in her own thoughts she’d never even considered his. For all she knew, he’d felt as trapped by the whole arrangement as she had. He’d said something about not wanting a wife...

‘I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted.’ She broached the subject nervously. ‘My father should never have forced you to marry me.’

‘He didn’t. He asked.’

‘It’s still hard to refuse the wishes of a dying man. I wouldn’t blame you for resenting it.’

‘I was surprised more than anything else. For your father to ask a man like me... I know I’m not the kind of husband you would have wanted.’

‘I’ve never wanted any kind.’

‘But if you had...’ He looked her square in the eye. ‘I would understand if you felt insulted. Or humiliated.’

‘No.’ She shook her head quickly. ‘I shouldn’t have said those things. I’ve had time to think this past week and I know you were only doing what my father asked. I’m not happy about it, but he trusted you. I ought to as well. I should never have accused you of trying to steal my inheritance.’

‘It was a reasonable assumption. I’m a blacksmith’s son and you’re a lady.’