Besieged and Betrothed

‘It’s winter.’

‘A brooch, then?’

She folded her arms with a sigh. She knew her maids were only trying to help, but she was starting to regret the whole idea of dressing up. It was easy for them. Alys’s corn-gold hair hung down to her waist like a tumbling waterfall, whilst Maud’s wide, hazel-brown eyes seemed to entrance every man who looked into them. They were both naturally pretty, whereas she... She sighed again. She’d been scrubbed, rinsed and brushed within an inch of her life, yet apparently she looked no different to the way she had before. Doubtless Lothar would think the same thing when he saw her. He’d probably just wonder what had taken her so long.

‘Are you worried about tonight?’ Alys came and sat on her other side.

‘Tonight?’ She looked up in consternation. Why would she be worried about tonight?

‘Has anyone told you what to expect?’

‘Alys!’ Maud hissed across the bed.

‘Well, someone ought to tell her,’ Alys argued back. ‘Who else is going to?’

Juliana cleared her throat in embarrassment. They were talking about her wedding night, the first official one she’d spend with her husband, as if it were something she ought to be nervous about, and she could hardly correct them without admitting the demeaning truth—that her husband not only thought she looked like a stablehand, but was in love with another woman as well. He wouldn’t want to bed her. He’d proven that in the way he’d raced out of her chamber that morning. Whereas she...shamefully, she hadn’t wanted him to go. Her body seemed to react in all kinds of surprising ways whenever he was close by, though surely that was just due to the shock of being married—even if she had touched him twice in one day, once when she’d stroked his scar in bed, the other when she’d calmed him down that afternoon. Not that he’d seemed to object on either o

ccasion. And sometimes, when he looked at her, it seemed as if he were holding himself back...

‘I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.’ She tried to sound dismissive.

‘You know there’ll be a bedding ceremony.’

‘A what?’ She gaped in astonishment. No, she hadn’t known that. She’d never even been to a wedding, let alone heard of a bedding ceremony.

‘That’s when he takes you to bed. Everyone follows to make sure you’re really married.’

‘But we’re already married! We were married two weeks ago.’

‘Yes, but not properly. You know...’ Alys gave her a nudge ‘...in bed.’

‘You mean we’re not properly married until we get into bed together?’

‘And the rest.’

‘What rest?’

‘Juliana.’ Maud took her hand as Alys rolled her eyes with exasperation. ‘Do you know what the marriage debt is?’

She shook her head, torn between wanting to put an end to the conversation and wanting to understand what on earth they were talking about.

‘Well, when you’re married, your husband has the right to demand certain...things of you. To have children, for example.’

‘How can he demand that I have children?’

‘Well, not children themselves...’ even Maud looked embarrassed now ‘...but the means of making them. If he wants to lie with you.’

‘Oh!’

She gulped, appalled by the idea. She’d never imagined that a husband could simply make such a demand. As if having control over every other aspect of a wife’s existence wasn’t bad enough, now it seemed they could demand that, too! It was wrong, unjust and yet, in her case, not very likely either. Considering that Lothar had only married her as a favour to her father, she thought it highly doubtful that he’d ever demand such a thing from her.

‘It might hurt the first time,’ Alys interjected, ‘but only at first.’

‘In any case, there won’t be a wedding unless we hurry.’ Maud jumped back to her feet. ‘He’ll be wondering where you are. And there’s nothing wrong with your gown really. It’s perfectly respectable.’

Respectable. She forced her mind back to the matter in hand. ‘I just wish I had something in blue. Brides are supposed to wear blue for purity.’

‘But that’s perfect!’ Maud clapped her hands impetuously. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. Blue!’