Besieged and Betrothed

That was what she’d always wanted, but he’d no right to use her own words against her.

‘Isn’t that what you always wanted, Juliana?’ His footsteps pursued her.

‘Yes!’ She spun round as he grabbed her arm. ‘But that doesn’t mean I still do!’

His jaw tightened. ‘Juliana, you’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since I arrived.’

‘That’s not true!’ She tried to pull her arm away, but he held tight this time. ‘I only wanted to get rid of you at first. These past few weeks...’ She bit her lip.

‘What?’ He tugged her against him when she didn’t answer. ‘These past few weeks what?’

‘I don’t know! They’ve just been different!’

His chest heaved as if he were trying to control some emotion. ‘I know, but I have to do my duty. I have to go with the Empress. She needs me.’

She inhaled sharply, his close proximity making her breath come in short bursts. ‘What about your duty to me? What about the marriage debt? How do you intend to fulfil that part of your promise from Normandy?’

‘You said you didn’t want me to.’

‘It’s not about what I want!’ She tossed her head, feeling as if she’d just argued herself into a corner. Was that what she wanted? Even if it was, she didn’t want him to think that she did. ‘It’s the principle. How am I supposed to have an heir? How do I have a child with a man in a different country? Who will inherit Haword?’

‘You want me to get you with child?’ The pupils of his eyes widened suddenly.

‘I...’ That wasn’t what she’d meant, not exactly, but the deep rumble of his voice was sending a potent thrill racing all through her body from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes and she didn’t know what to say. What she’d meant was that she wanted him to kiss her once more before he left, to hold her, to remind her of how it felt to be touched, the way he’d touched her the first day they’d met. What she’d meant was that it wasn’t fair, that nothing, in the whole tangled mess of their separate allegiances, was fair. Their marriage might have been an arrangement to protect her, something they’d both agreed to for the sake of her father, but she didn’t want it to be just that any more. She wanted something else, something more...something that he’d said was impossible.

‘Juliana.’ He let go of her arm, trailing his fingers up her back and around her shoulder-blades. ‘Is that what you want?’

Instinctively, she tipped her head back, letting his lips find her throat whilst her hands drifted up to his chest. She felt a soft tug, followed by a slackening sensation, as if he were pulling on something, though it took her a moment to realise it was the laces of her gown.

‘Juliana?’ He repeated her name in a hoarse whisper, his lips skimming the hollow space above her collarbone. ‘Is it? You need to tell me.’

‘Yes.’ She breathed the word, answering a different question to the one that he’d asked her. The last thing she wanted was to be left carrying the child of a man who was about to leave her, but she could let him believe that, couldn’t she? Better for him to think it was all she wanted. It wasn’t as if the reason really mattered. He was her husband and he wasn’t in love with another woman. No one else would get hurt and if he wasn’t capable of feeling then he wouldn’t care either way. She was allowed to ask him to pay the marriage debt. There was nothing wrong in it...even if, somehow, it didn’t feel quite right either.

‘No.’ She pushed her hands against his chest abruptly.

‘What is it?’ He lifted his head at once.

‘Not like this, it’s wrong.’

‘Does it feel wrong?’ His eyes were smoky with what looked like, what surely had to be, desire.

She shook her head. ‘We still can’t. Not because of a debt.’

‘Forget the debt, Juliana.’

He growled the words as his lips found hers again, his tongue plundering her mouth with a hunger that made her feel dizzy. This kiss was different to the others, fierce and demanding, as if he were trying to stifle any protest. She felt a giddy rush of elation, though whether from the feeling of his lips or the sensation of breathlessness she hardly knew. This definitely didn’t feel like the calling in of a debt. It felt like something far more powerful, as if he wanted her as much as she wanted him. More even, judging by the way he was scarcely letting her up for air.

She gasped as the fabric of her gown fell over her shoulders and pooled loosely around her waist. His hands pushed it down and she found herself wriggling to help him, writhing her hips until it slid the rest of the way to the floor. Then he reached down, so swiftly that she barely had time to wonder what he was doing, tearing her stockings away before seizing the hem of her under-shift and pulling it over her head.

She held her breath as cold air met her skin. She was standing completely naked in front of a man who was looking at her in a way she’d never imagined possible, one that made her feel exposed and strangely powerful at the same time. There was no condemnation or criticism in his eyes, only desire. For her. All her embarrassment evaporated under the heat of his gaze, replaced by her own sense of need. Tentatively, she reached out and unbuckled his belt, letting it fall to the floor before grasping the ends of his tunic, mimicking his earlier actions as she tugged the fabric over his head. Then they both moved together at the same time, hands meeting skin as he dipped down and lifted her up into his arms.

‘Wrap your legs around me.’

She did as he said, twining her legs around his waist as he pulled his head back to look at her.

‘Are you certain about this?’

She nodded, meeting his gaze with a look of utter certainty. His eyes were smouldering more fiercely than she’d ever seen them, yet there was tenderness there, too. If she wanted, she could