‘As promised.’ He dropped down on to one knee, looking out of the corner of his eye to make sure Juliana did the same. ‘It’s good to see you again, Empress.’
‘Is it?’ Matilda made her way regally towards them. ‘Yet the roads have been passable for a week.’ A murmur of amusement rippled around the hall, though there was nothing amused in the look she gave him. ‘I was almost ready to ride into Herefordshire and fetch you myself.’
‘Apologies, Empress, but there were matters that required my attention.’
‘I’m sure.’ Matilda’s blue gaze fixed on Juliana with a predatory gleam. ‘And here she is. Welcome to Devizes, my dear. You must favour your mother in appearance.’
There was a momentary pause before his wife answered. ‘They tell me so, Empress.’
‘Though you have your father’s eyes...’ Matilda’s voice softened as she placed one finger under Juliana’s chin and tilted it upwards. ‘He’s dead, then?’
‘Yes, Empress.’
‘I’m sorry. I wonder what he would have thought about our meeting like this.’
‘I don’t know, Empress.’
‘No, I suppose not. But perhaps we ought to discuss it in private, so we can get to know each other properly.’ She waved a hand in the air imperiously. ‘The rest of you may leave us. That includes you, Lothar.’
‘Empress?’ He felt a shiver of unease. The look in Matilda’s eyes was like that of a falcon that had just spotted a smaller bird—easy prey. Not that Juliana was easy prey. Far from it. She had her own talons, but the last thing he wanted was to leave her either to fight or to fend for herself.
‘Wait outside the door if you wish, Lothar.’ The order was unmistakable. ‘In the meantime, your wife and I have a lot to talk about. You may go.’
* * *
Juliana closed her eyes, torn between regret and relief as the great oak door closed with a reverberating thud. The journey to Devizes had been almost unbearable, every moment in her husband’s company a humiliating reminder of what had happened between them. In the bright light of day her behaviour had seemed even more shameless than it had felt at the time. She couldn’t defend herself or what she’d done. She’d practically asked Lothar to take her to bed, deluding herself into thinking he might want her, too. As if realising how much she cared for him wasn’t bad enough! She didn’t want to care for him, but she did, and now she’d gone to bed with him, the feeling was even more heart-wrenchingly painful. Even the memory of their lovemaking was tarnished by the way he’d behaved afterwards. He’d barely even looked at her, as if all he wanted was to go back to Matilda and forget.
‘Come, my dear.’ Matilda hooked an arm through hers, pulling her towards a low couch by the fireplace. ‘I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already.’
‘Thank you, Empress.’ She perched on the edge of the couch with a growing sense of trepidation. If anyone else had been fooled by the other woman’s show of friendship, she certainly hadn’t. No matter what Lothar claimed, she had the feeling that she wasn’t going to be forgiven for surrendering to Stephen quite so easily. She felt like a condemned woman, waiting for the axe to fall.
‘Your father was a good man.’ Matilda sat down opposite. ‘I valued him a great deal.’
‘He would have been pleased to know that, Empress.’
‘I valued his advice, too. Even if he did think I was fighting a losing battle.’ The blue gaze narrowed in on hers suddenly. ‘He was clever enough to recognise the truth when he saw it.’
Juliana caught her breath, knowing she ought to deny it, but unable to lie quite so blatantly. ‘He died loyal to you, Empress.’
‘I know. Unlike his daughter.’
She felt a prickle of goosebumps, as if she’d just walked into a trap. She couldn’t deny that fact either. She couldn’t even regret her disloyalty. If she had to, she knew she’d make the same choices all over again. The only question now was what Matilda would do to her, not that she particularly cared. After what had happened with Lothar, she could hardly feel any worse. But Matilda seemed to have moved on already, lost in her own train of thought.
‘You know when Robert, the
Earl of Gloucester, was captured, I had to exchange Stephen for his release. Some people said it was sentimental and womanly of me, that I should have left him to rot where he was, but he was my half-brother. I cared too much to abandon him, even though it meant starting the war all over again. Sometimes we don’t have any good choices. I think your bargain with Stephen was one of those.’
‘You do?’ Juliana couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice, scarcely able to believe she was going to be let off the hook so easily. ‘I know I’ve no right to your forgiveness, Empress.’
‘I give it anyway. In all honesty, I wish your father had been a little less loyal. If he’d surrendered to Stephen when he’d had the chance, he could have come here and been properly cared for.’
Juliana bristled at the insinuation. ‘I did my best.’
‘I’m sure you did. That wasn’t what I meant. And at least you were with him, taking care of him. When my own father died I was miles away in Anjou. We were arguing at the time over the rights to my dower castles. I know what it is to be estranged from a parent.’
‘We weren’t arguing, my lady. He never knew about my agreement with Stephen, but...’ She drew her brows together, struggling to put all the tangled emotions of the past few months into words. ‘I still felt it there, somehow, like a barrier between us. When he told me to marry Lothar, I thought that maybe he suspected something, that he was punishing me.’
‘I won’t deny that I was surprised by your marriage, but is that how it feels, like a punishment?’