‘Oh.’ She exhaled with relief. ‘Is that all? Don’t tell me—Matilda for a girl?’
‘Gisela. My mother’s name.’
‘Oh.’ She was speechless for a few moments. It had been five years since they’d last spoken about his mother and she’d been starting to think that the subject was closed for ever. ‘Gisela. I like that, but are you sure?’
‘Yes. I think she would have liked a granddaughter named after her.’
‘I think so, too.’ She clasped one of his hands, twining their fingers together. ‘Is it getting any easier to think of her?’
‘A little. I try to remember the good times now. We had some of those, too.’
‘I’m glad.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘So am I.’
‘You know, there was something I always wanted to ask you...’ She paused. There had never seemed a good time for the question, but she was afraid that if she didn’t ask it now then she wouldn’t have the courage again.
‘Yes?’
‘About your father...’ She hesitated again before ploughing on. ‘I wondered if you ever saw him again after you ran away?’
‘Did he ever come looking for me, you mean? No.’ His mouth twisted bitterly. ‘But I found him. I went back to Bamburg a few years after Matilda took me in.’
‘Oh.’ She tensed. ‘What happened?’
‘He was drunk in a tavern. He didn’t even recognise me.’
‘Did you...?’
He shook his head. ‘No. I thought I wanted to avenge my mother, but he was no danger to anyone any more. It wouldn’t have been a fair fight. That was what I wanted, to fight him on equal terms, but there was no chance. So I walked out and left.’ He sighed heavily. ‘For as long as I can remember people have looked at me as if I were some heartless monster. I don’t blame them. I wanted to seem that way. I just never realised it made me look exactly like him.’
‘You’re not heartless. I knew that from the second day I knew you.’
‘As soon as that?’ He gave a low chuckle and then sobered again. ‘When I found him in that tavern, I told myself I didn’t feel anything, but I did. I think it was pity. Despite everything, I pitied him, for all the waste that he’d caused. It took me a long time to understand that I was wasting my own life, too, though I think your father realised it. Part of me could even suspect that he planned all this from the start.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I think somehow he knew that you were the only possible woman for me. I told you, he was a clever man.’
She smiled. ‘Perhaps he knew you’d be good for me, too.’
‘We’re good for each other.’ He wrapped his arms around her and gazed down tenderly into her face. ‘It’s taken me a long time to come to my senses, to realise something I should have said a long time ago.’
‘Yes?’ She held her breath, hardly dared to hope...
‘I love you, Juliana. I’m still not good enough for you, but I love you. I always have and I always will. And this time I’m back for good. I’ve asked Henry FitzEmpress to release me from his service.’
‘You have?’ She felt as though all her dreams were coming true at once. ‘What did he say?’
‘He said yes. He knew I’d send word to his mother if he didn’t.’
She flung her arms around his neck, holding him as tightly as she was able. ‘In that case, how about Gisela Matilda for the baby? I think we owe the Empress that much.’
‘Perhaps we do.’ He leaned down, his lips hovering over hers. ‘I’m done with fighting, Juliana. Are you ready for a quiet life with me?’
She nodded eagerly, stretching up on her toes for his kiss. ‘I’m ready.’
* * * * *