“No.”
“That’s a pity,” he said with a quick smile. “Shall we retrace our steps, my lady? Your family will be wondering where you are.”
She moved to stand before him and clasped her hands together at her waist. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with my family, particularly my father.”
Jeremy shrugged. “I like him.”
She drew in a breath. “What I said to you yesterday, I truly apologize. I never should have offered you the money that way, even if I had promised it in the agreement. You do mean more to me than that. I mean…you mean something else, and it has nothing to do with money at all. Say again that you forgive me?”
He glanced her way again. Make her squirm, the duke had said. Yes, but for how long was such a measure necessary? His temper had already cooled. He’d overreacted by storming off with the intention of leaving the estate. He could have dealt with her and refused a penny with less fuss than he had stirred up. “What does it matter?”
“It matters very much to me.”
He nodded. “Forgiven.”
She inched closer a half step. “Can it ever be forgotten?”
Now that he wasn’t sure of. His pride had taken a blow, and the entire family must know by now that she’d been willing to pay him for sex. The sum had been sufficiently large enough for him to only now feel a sense of unease that she could throw such an amount about so easily. Would she try to buy his affections and forgiveness in the future, too? It was an unpleasant possibility that she might try to end every disagreement they had that way. He wasn’t so special to deserve any riches. “I don’t know.”
She gulped. “Father tells me he has invited you to stay.”
Jeremy inclined his head. Since he had nowhere else to go at the moment, he saw no harm in staying for a while. He had started his lessons that morning with the duke’s valet, who seemed to be possessed of a remarkable level of patience for Jeremy’s limited abilities. He’d like to continue those lessons in secret, if only to help him not sign any more scandalous agreements.
Plus, the duke had suggested that Fanny had developed real feeling for him. An attachment she was afraid to admit to. He could understand her fears. He had them, too.
“For how long?”
“I don’t rightly know. There is nothing pressing that draws me back to London for the moment.”
Fanny started to walk, and after a moment he decided he would follow.
“You should stay. Take advantage of the country air and the friendships you’ve made here. You never know when a casual acquaintance might lead to an opportunity too good to pass up.”
Fanny was attempting to manage him. Trying to alter the course of his life still. “Those friendships happen to be with your brothers.”
“And Whitfield,” she reminded him.
“Whitfield is your brother, too.”
“Oh yes. Sorry. It’s still odd to think of him that way. An adjustment. Everything is an adjustment. I’m not as adaptable to changes in my personal life as I am in business affairs.”
There had been a level of intimacy, of sharing, between them that Jeremy had never experienced before he’d met Fanny. It was something he’d have to adjust to as well, if he stayed and continued to socialize with her and her family.
Suddenly, Fanny curled her arm through his. “When I found your room empty, I feared you had really gone.”
Jeremy extracted himself from her grip. He wouldn’t allow himself to slip back into too much familiarity with Fanny without this time knowing exactly what was in store for him. “What is it you want?”
“You.” She wet her lips, clasped her hands at her waist and slowly looked up into his eyes. “I want a second chance with you…but I am afraid.”
“Of what?”
“The day that I lose you.”
Chapter 17
Jeremy reeled back a step from her and Fanny’s heart nearly pounded through her chest in fear that he’d laugh. Yes, she’d done it. Laid herself bare and damn the consequences of what many might see as a reckless admission on her part. She’d confided her worst fear to the man she admired above all others.
She had searched her soul after her talk with her father and decided he might know her better than she did herself. Father had made her see that her choice of casual flings had been an attempt to avoid being hurt by any loss ever again.