He held out his hand despite her warning. Matilda stared at him a moment, then placed her hand in his. He drew her close, and for a change he held her fingers rather than her wrist. It felt odd, almost too intimate to stand so close in his grasp, especially in this room.
“There is no music,” she said, fighting a blush that threatened to consume her.
He shrugged away the problem. “Do you waltz?” His question was soft, almost breathless.
She shivered, catching a glimpse of eagerness in his gaze she was not used to seeing. “Not at all.”
“That is unfortunate, for I am fond of it.” He drew one of her hands to his shoulder and then settled his fingers at her waist. He slowly slid his hand around her body until he covered the fastenings of her gown.
She struggled to breathe as he drew her closer still. Her face was burning up with embarrassment. He was her husband. There was nothing to stop him touching her, no chaperones, no family, and no excuses not to hold her as close as he wanted.
He tapped his fingers over the knotted bow at her back, and she glanced up quickly, afraid he’d undo the bow.
His eyes were wide, growing dark and deep with an emotion she couldn’t name but had glimpsed before. He swallowed and then turned his face so his scar was hidden from view. “I will have to instruct you soon so we might dance together in public.”
Matilda nodded but her heart raced. That look in his eyes unsettled her. This husband of hers, a man so worldly-wise, knew things she did not. She had seen enough of his nature to conclude he had experienced other women, and now, bargain or not, according to the vows she’d spoken, she’d agreed to obey him in everything.
Her legs trembled at what he might ask for.
He lifted his chin toward the staircase as he released her. “It has been a long day. I want you to go upstairs and get into my bed.”
Her heart hammered against her ribs in panic. “But I thought I was to stay in the guest bedroom.”
“You are my wife now. It is expected that you spend some nights in my bed. Especially tonight.”
Matilda swallowed her fear. She’d been trying not to think about tonight and what would happen when they were alone. Captain Ford had said nothing about wishing for intimacy between them, but it was his right as her husband to take his pleasure with her. “Yes, Captain.”
“William.” He nodded and took another step back.
“William.” Matilda dipped a curtsy and then fled to his bedchamber.
In something close to blind panic, she rushed through undressing and redressing into a modest nightgown that had been laid out on the bed. The new, soft garment covered her from neck to toes, but she felt exposed and altogether naked by changing in this room. She scurried into his bed. Glanced around swiftly, then darted back out again to the candle and blew it out before scrambling under the covers once more, heart thundering.
She lay still, clutching the sheet to her chin as William’s footsteps echoed in the adjoining dressing room. He was not alone; his voice was a soft murmur as he spoke with another man, most likely Dawson as he readied for bed. She blushed thinking of him removing his elegant attire, stripping down to even less than when he’d been abed during his recovery.
She lifted her head to peek over her toes as a door closed, but it was not her door. The faint outline of light under the bedchamber’s heavy oak door flickered, and then darkness fell in the adjoining room. She could not hear William moving about anymore, but surely he was coming in?
After a few minutes of silence, she sat up in consternation.
She couldn’t hear anything beyond her own frantic breathing.
Matilda took a steadying breath, reassured but confused since she could hear no sign of her husband moving about.
Her husband.
When it became apparent William wasn’t coming tonight, Matilda lowered herself to the bedding and glanced dispiritedly around the dark room. This was her wedding night. The night she’d expected to give her virtue to Harry Lloyd.
In his place, William had the right to sleep with her.
She swallowed as new tears filled her eyes. He would come to her soon and then… She had no idea.
It might be true she’d done very well for herself in marrying Captain Ford, but she was quite terrified now. His family was one of the most distinguished in society, accepted anywhere they wanted to go. The man was wealthy, and so far he’d not stinted her any comfort. The terms of the marriage contract had been very generous indeed. He’d brought a legal man into his home to study and explain to her the document he’d drafted, explaining what her portion would be upon his eventual demise, as if there was not going to be a separation between before then. It had been rather strange to think of the moment of William’s death again, which was surely far removed now that he was out of harm’s way.
She would be well supported, financially, for the rest of her life. They had not discussed their eventual separation in any detail, but William had promised they would as soon as his sisters had found husbands.
But he was a stranger. Her husband.
It was a great step up for the daughter of a medical man and the wild gypsy he’d married out of lust and been deserted by as soon as Matilda had been born.