“You didn’t show,” he pointed out needlessly.
“It didn’t seem right.”
“But you took the time to visit Walsh.” He lifted his head up from the microscope, pushing it away. The chair swiveled so that he was facing her. “Maria buzzed me when you came back that night. Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”
Looking back, she should have. She knew it. Lucas was just as involved in this whole mess as she was. When his first instinct had been to go after Mason Walsh, she was the one who convinced him that it wasn’t worth it. When Detective Rodriguez returned to Hamlet with the news that the deputy was responsible for both deaths, she had honestly thought it was over. Case closed.
But the more she thought about it, the more determined she was to face him herself. So she didn’t invite Lucas, and it never occurred to her that Maria would go running to her brother the same way she told Deputy Collins that Tess wanted to go home. Even though she should have. Maria was sweet, but she could always be counted on to pass along anything she was told.
Hmm. Maybe she wouldn’t send that check after all.
His eyes were a blast of arctic chill, his beautiful face set in unforgiving lines. She’d obviously upset Lucas by not telling him about Mason. But for all the apologies she’d been handing out, this was one she wasn’t going to give.
“I couldn’t leave without seeing him one more time. You didn’t have to be there.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. She could tell from the clenching of his hands and his cold gaze that he wasn’t only upset. He was absolutely furious.
“I should’ve been.”
“Doctor—”
“Is that all I am to you? The doctor?”
She blinked. “You want to do this? Now?”
“No. No, you’re right.” Lucas sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I was out of line. Forgive me, Tessa. I’m sure you didn’t come all the way here for me to snap at you over Walsh. I don’t like that you went without me, but I get it. You had to have your peace.”
Tess didn’t think she would ever really have peace. It had seemed like such a good idea to go see the deputy. If she was being honest, though, it only made her feel worse. It was one of the reasons she wanted out of Hamlet so bad. Besides the whispers, the prejudiced eyes and constant stares that made her feel like the only motive behind the double murder, she couldn’t stand that she had some part to play in putting Mason Walsh in jail.
“I did,” she told him, without mentioning that she hadn’t found it. “It was the only chance I had. I— I’m leaving, Lucas. I’m going home.”
“When?”
“Maria helped me pack up my car already. Deputy Collins told me I could pick it up from the sheriff’s station and go.” Her laugh was hollow as she remembered how quick he was to basically kick her out after Caitlin’s funeral. She didn’t blame him, but still. “I think the rest of Hamlet wants me out of here more than I want to go. I’m happy to oblige.”
Lucas ticked his jaw. “Not all of Hamlet. I’d like it if you stayed.”
It felt nice to hear him say that. She knew his goodbye would be that hardest of all, and she remembered Maria’s request that she let Lucas down gently. At the time, she thought it was ridiculous—Lucas De Angelis was the type of man who never let anyone see what affected him. But she thought she knew him as well as he seemed to know her by now. He would appreciate her blunt honesty.
“I know. But I can’t. I’m sorry, Lucas. I’m driving home tonight.”
“Do you— would you ever come back?” he asked.
Tessa’s smile was sad yet firm. “I think we both know that I was never made for Hamlet.”
Lucas thought about what she said. He couldn’t argue with her, so he didn’t. Instead, he said, “Do you ever think things happen for a reason?”
“Like fate?”
“If you like.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I think things happen because they do. One person gets an idea in their head, and they act on it. Did Jack have to be strangled? Maybe. Did Caitlin have to be shot? I don’t know. But someone made the decision and it happened and, well, I can’t take it back. All I can do is get past it. If there was one thing I learned in the last two weeks, it’s that life is for the living. Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to do just that.”
For the first time since she walked into his office, Lucas seemed at ease. “Good answer, Tessa. And I have only one thing to say to that.” He blinked slowly, his thick lashes shuttering the icy depths of his gaze before he locked eyes with her one last time. His lips quirked. “Until we meet again.”
“That’s so much nicer than goodbye,” Tessa told him.
And nicer still because she knew he meant it.