This wasn’t only attraction. He wanted Grace—God, did he want her—but it finally dawned on Rick that he wanted more. Not just this beauty in his bed, though he spent far too many sleepless nights fantasizing about what that would be like. No, he wanted her in his life as something other than his student. And not only when he was busy trying to show her how to kick his ass.
But he couldn’t have it. For so many reasons, they wouldn’t work. She was an outsider, he was going to die in Hamlet; he’d had enough of the outside world to last him the rest of his life. She was clearly hiding something. Rick had too many nightmares in his head. He’d scare her, or he’d lose her, and after Caitlin, he couldn’t risk it.
He just wasn’t strong enough.
When she smiled, Rick nearly groaned. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, she threw her arms around him. He tucked his hips back so that she would never know how inappropriately turned on he was at that very moment.
“Thank you so much. You don’t know how much I appreciate the offer.”
And if Rick had it his way? Grace would never discover how much he appreciated her.
14
The added class helped a lot.
A month into her lessons, Grace thought she was getting pretty good at self-defense. She almost always managed to predict Rick’s sneak attacks and could often take him down to the mats by twisting her body and using his size against him. She was becoming a pro at leveraging her weight and, when she couldn’t, going for his eyes, throat, and groin. He praised her every time she got him down, irrationally pleased at her progress.
But her attraction to her gruff instructor on the other hand? Oh, yeah. That was a lost cause.
She continued to fight it. Once she really started to get to know the big man, to see what made him tick underneath that locked-down exterior of his and his buttoned-up lips, she discovered that Rick Hart was attentive, gentle, and kind at the same time as he was a strict teacher, never letting her settle for anything less than her absolute best. He pushed her to her limits, congratulating her whenever she succeeded, supporting her if she struggled. He was her mentor and, after weeks of lessons that were supposed to be only an hour long and never were, he was quickly becoming another friend.
If Grace wanted more, that was her problem. She was grateful for what he’d already given her. It was, she learned, far more than he had given anyone else in Hamlet. Even though he was a local, born and raised in Hamlet, his veteran status put him closer to being an outsider. No one really left Hamlet. If they did? It was usually for good. Not Rick. Gone for almost a decade, he came back a couple of years ago and settled down as if nothing had changed.
Only it had. He was a different man. Guarded. Weary. He spent his nights at the local bar, worked down at the barbershop, and held everyone but Sly at a distance. The fact that his house was on the edge of Hamlet was telling. Rick kept himself on the fringe of the community on purpose. Becoming a deputy didn’t change that. It just meant the rest of Hamlet now had a reason to be wary of the quiet former Marine.
Maria confessed to her all that and more. Once Grace gave up on hiding how much she was attracted to him, she stopped switching the subject whenever Maria slyly brought Rick into the conversation. Which was often. An utter romantic, Maria cooed over the idea of Grace and Rick together, no matter how many times Grace assured her that it was one-sided. He was helping her out. That was all.
It stung that he never, ever once gave her some sign, some clue that he saw her as anything other than a student. Sure, he still called her Tiger; she expected he only did it to rankle her and get her to fight back harder. In his good moods, he could tease with the best of them. By their third class, she was shocked to discover he actually had a sense of humor at times. He was thoughtful, attentive, and worked hard to keep her motivated even with the limited information she offered about herself and Tommy.
He trained her under the impression that Tommy was a ridiculously clingy ex and that Grace was more worried about the dangers in the outside world than anything else. And he taught her with the enthusiasm and drive of a drill sergeant.
Rick took her concerns seriously. It was so unfamiliar to her, she wondered if that didn’t make him seem even more attractive. Maybe. But he had so many things going for him that just clicked with Grace. His strong jaw. Beautiful brown eyes. That tempting curl. A body built for sin. His honesty… Rick didn’t hold anything back. He didn’t play games like Tommy did. He treated her like a person—he treated her like a worthy opponent—instead of arm candy.
He was never inappropriate. A consummate professional every time they met or spoke over the Hamlet radios, Rick was the best instructor she could ask for. And as much as she wanted to, she wouldn’t risk that when him shutting her down was all but a guarantee.
So Grace tried to ignore her desires. When Rick broke out in a sweat during some of their more intense lessons, she tossed a towel at him instead of giving in to her urge to run her tongue along the strong lines of his thick neck. Jesus, she knew she had a problem when she was jealous of a drop of sweat.
It only got worse as November ended. The week before was Thanksgiving. Because Grace was still staying at Ophelia, Maria decided to go all out when she made her Thanksgiving feast. The bed and breakfast was decorated to the nines, the fancy dining room table decked out with oranges and reds, plus a massive cornucopia as a centerpiece. She decided dinner would be served there. Grace understood why when she found out that, while Sly was a given for an invite, he wasn’t the only one.
Rick joined them for Thanksgiving. It was the first time she saw him in something that wasn’t his deputy uniform or a t-shirt and jeans. Ducking his head, looking so uncomfortable it was adorable, Rick shoved his hands in the pockets of his khakis. He had on a freshly pressed olive green button-down shirt that absolutely hugged his chest.
Was it awful that s
he got jealous of a damn shirt, too?
Grace was glad Maria insisted she get a little dolled up for their dinner. And it was okay that Rick didn’t seem to notice the effort she put into her hair or her make-up. With the troublesome thoughts running through her head constantly, she didn’t have time for anything else.
Of course, that didn’t stop her from staring. So many weeks later and she still caught herself doing it.
Her fantasies were filled with him reaching across the table to pass the mashed potatoes only to have the buttons fly off, revealed his built form. Grace had gotten tantalizing glimpses of his body before during their training. The button-down shirt he had on was so tight, it left little to the imagination.
It was torture. A nice kind of torture, since she thoroughly enjoyed spending the afternoon with Rick when he wasn’t trying to knock her down and she wasn’t retaliating by going for his groin. He didn’t talk much at first, but as the afternoon faded into evening, the two couples paired off. Sly and Maria eventually disappeared, leaving the two of them alone to talk all night together.
Something changed after Thanksgiving. Something was different. Her attraction to Rick was stronger, deeper, and so much harder to ignore. She almost wanted to call the self-defense classes off entirely. Her body could take the bruises. But her heart? She didn’t want to risk it.
This was the third class since Thanksgiving. It was Saturday afternoon, and she’d worked herself up all morning to thank Rick, but tell him that this one would be the last one. One problem, though. She hadn’t come up with a valid reason why yet. Which was precisely why she was in the middle of a physical demonstration close to an hour later, and Rick still believed that the lessons were business as usual.
As they grappled, Grace managed to evade most of his grabs. He was big, but she was quick, and she squirmed whenever he tried to disable her.