Caroline was a self-admitted homebody too, which he appreciated. She seemed more than content to curl up on the couch with him but he wondered if that was enough. He'd never be able to spend the day at the beach with her, or … do anything that involved being in the sun. Would she be content in the long run only being together at night?
In spite of his certainty earlier, Beverly made some excellent points. It wouldn't be entirely fair on her, or on their children if it ever got to that point. He couldn't expect for everyone to cater to his needs constantly, could he?
On a deep sigh, he closed the book he'd been trying to read and rubbed a hand across his eyes. He knew there was the gene therapy thing. He'd heard of a few people going that route. He couldn't ask her to do that, though. It would irrevocably change her life. It didn't seem fair.
He allowed himself to lie there for a few more minutes more. As he rolled out of bed and headed toward the shower, his cell phone rang. It was after two in the morning on a Sunday.
Picking it up, he saw Caroline's picture flash across his screen. He couldn't help but smile, in spite of the dark turn his thoughts had taken. He answered, “Hello?”
“Magnus, hey. I was just calling because... I wanted to apologize for my grandmother.”
“Why? She was perfectly polite,” Magnus answered cautiously.
“Except for that whole scene at the table. She told me about it after you dropped us off. She felt guilty.”
“It was fully expected, Caroline. I didn't think that she'd be entirely comfortable with the idea of us together,” he admitted.
“For what it's worth, whatever you said to her changed her mind. I got an official seal of approval before she went to bed.”
The weight in his chest lessened. “Good. I'm glad to hear it. I didn't want to create an issue between you. I know how close you are.”
“You're a really sweet man, Magnus,” Caroline said. “I don't think it would have come to that, though.”
Magnus sighed. “I didn't know for certain either. I haven't talked to anyone in my family in over thirty years. It's a hard thing to deal with and I didn't want that for you.”
Her voice was very soft when she said, “I'm sorry about your family. I wish...”
“Thank you,” he said. “It's not something that I think about constantly, but it's difficult not to carry it with me. I think it's part of the reason that I focused so much on work for so long. You can't really be abandoned if you never let anyone close to you.”
He had no idea why he was even sharing this with her. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to talk about. Perhaps he just wanted her to understand where he'd been coming from. It was a little bit freeing, though.
“That's a lonely existence.”
A smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, he said, “It hasn't been lately. There's this woman I've been seeing.”
“Hmm. Do I know her?” Caroline asked him coyly.
“Let's not bother with pretense. You've got to know that I'm completely in love with you, Caroline.”
He heard her intake of breath, and it was followed by dead silence. Eventually he said, “I didn't mean to blurt it out quite like that, but—”
“I love you too. I do. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you but I kept chickening out. I didn't want to scare you off,” she babbled nervously.
“You don't know how frightened I was that you were going to just make some excuse to get off the phone. Or even worse, thank me.” Relief flowed through him. She loved him too.
She winced. “Ouch. That's brutal. And you don't give yourself enough credit.”
Now that the anxiety of the moment was past, he wanted nothing more than to sink himself into her and fuck her senseless, but there didn't seem to be a way to make that happen. He swiped a hand over his face and said, “Christ. I really wish you were here right now.”
Caroline made a displeased noise and said, “Me too. I feel a bit cheated, actually. I was hoping that if we ever got around to this, it would immediately be followed by post-I-love-you orgasms.”
“I'm sorry. The timing is off, I'll admit. I couldn't help it though. I don't think I can handle coming over to have sex with you while your grandmother sleeps down the hallway, though,” he admitted, mortified at even the thought. Especially since her approval had been so hard won.
“God no! I'd be way too worried about being caught. It's one thing for her to joke about sampling the merchandise and quite another for her to catch me doing it. I'd never hear the end of it!”
“I believe I might have a compromise to hold us over until tomorrow evening, though,” he murmured, his grin stretching wide.
He could hear the matching grin in her voice when she carefully said, “Tell me more.”