My mind scrambles to process what he’s offering. A chance to get out of the East End, to go to school, to stay together while Adam pursues his dream with his mates. It sounds too good to be true.
“But, my parents,” I tell him as a lump forms in my stomach. How can I leave them alone? With my dad working all of the time and my mum so ill?
“You said they want you to go to university. So you wouldn’t be around next year either way? You could come back during breaks and visit.” Adam’s eyes light up with hope. “It?
?ll work, Ellie. I know it will.”
“Kate did mention that one of her scholarships was to a school in Los Angeles,” I think out loud.
“Brilliant!” Adam says, a wide grin spreading across his handsome face. “You’re so smart, I’m sure you can get a scholarship there too.”
He makes it sound too easy. Maybe it is that easy. The deciding factor is my parents. I can’t leave without their blessing. I won’t, and that breaks my heart all over again.
With only a few weeks left in the term, I have to talk to my parents about Los Angeles. I’ve applied to so many schools, I don’t even remember which ones until the letters begin to arrive. I was accepted into almost all of them, with large scholarships to several. I’m scared to death to hear my parents’ answer. If they say yes, I won’t be around to help my mum go through the last cycle of her chemo. If they say no, I’ll lose Adam and be heartbroken. Either way I can’t win.
Gathering up as much courage as I can, I sit on a small armchair in our lounge and wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt, the sounds of the television squawking in the background.
“Mum, Dad, can we have a chat?” I ask, my wavering voice betraying me already.
My dad puts down his newspaper and they both turn their eyes to me, giving me their complete focus. Mum looks tired, really tired. Chemo hasn’t been kind to her.
“Yes, dear?” my dad asks, waiting for me to speak.
I close my eyes and spit out the facts as quickly as I possibly can. “Kate is going to Los Angeles to go to university. I’ve looked into scholarships and it looks as if I’ll get enough money to go to the same school. I’d like to go, but I don’t want to leave you two if it means not having enough help round here to get Mum to her appointments and what not,” I blurt out without taking a single breath, only opening my eyes when I’m done.
My parents stare at me after my rambling outburst. They look as if I just told them I’m pregnant with an alien child and am moving to Mars. I specifically leave Adam out of the equation. I don’t want them to think I’m leaving to shack up with my boyfriend, even though that’s kind of what I’m doing.
“So…?” I ask as I fidget with a fraying edge on the cushion of my chair.
Dad snaps out of it first, regaining his composure and closing his gaping jaw. “So you want to go to university in the U.S.? That’s what you’re asking?” he asks in a tone that gives me no hint as to what he’s thinking about my outburst.
I flick my eyes from him to my mum, then back again. “Yes,” I say, nodding in agreement.
My parents turn to look at each other, communicating silently somehow, in that way that people who are each other’s halves can do. Then they focus back on me as I twitch nervously on the tiny chair.
Inexplicably, the unthinkable happens. They both smile. Real smiles. Probably the first ones that have occurred in this flat since Mum’s cancer diagnosis.
“We think that’s brilliant, Ellie. Just wonderful. Our daughter smart enough to go to school in the U.S.” My mum has tears of happiness filling up her eyes.
Dad gets up and pulls me into a hug, “We couldn’t be more proud of you, Ellie,” he says, choking back his emotions.
“Really?” I squeak out. “You don’t think I should stay here and help? Because I will, I don’t want to leave you without extra hands…”
My mum cuts me off before I can finish. “Ellie, we want you to make something of yourself. Get out of this place. Our only wish for you is to not end up here.” The tears are now coursing freely down her cheeks.
I step over to her and sit next to her on the sofa, carefully wrapping my mum in an embrace. Her body is so small and frail now. Gone is her long golden hair, replaced by a colorful scarf tied around her head. Gone is the healthy, strong woman that raised me, replaced by a pale shell. But today, for the first time in a while, I can see a hint of the mischievous twinkle in her eyes that has been missing since the diagnosis.
She pats my cheek lovingly. “Be happy, Ellie. That’s all we want.”
“Okay, Mum. Dad.” I manage to get to my room and close the door before I burst into silent tears. I have no idea if the tears are happy, sad, or both.
chapter 15
Adam
“Everything is working out brilliantly, Dax.” We head toward my flat, chatting excitedly about the future the entire way. I forgot my notebook there and we need it to go over a few lyrics at band practice.
Ellie had to go home and fill out more paperwork for admission into the University of California, so we walked her there before setting off for my place. It’s all working out perfect. We’ll all be in Los Angeles together, even Ellie’s best friend Kate who got a scholarship to play football there. Apparently, unlike the U.K., girl’s footy is a huge deal in the States.