“You don’t want me to know where you live. Is that it?” That’s it, isn’t it? She doesn’t want me to have a way to find her if it goes badly. The hiding and disappearing, typical Ellie behavior.
“Adam, if you want to see me then you’re going to have to do it my way.” She sounds tired and sad, possibly on the verge of tears. I don’t want to be the one who makes her sound like that.
“Okay Ellie. I’m at the Warren Hotel. The big one on the Thames, near the park.” I cave, willing to give her whatever she wants to get her to see me. “Room 3203. Come up and we’ll go to the restaurant from there.”
“Alright Adam. I’ll see you in a bit. Is one o’clock okay?”
“Yes, great, perfect. It’s brilliant Ellie. I’ll be waiting.” Christ, could I possibly sound any more idiotic?
“I’ll see you soon.”
The line disconnects and I sit for a moment, trying to decide my best course of action. I waver between falling to my knees, begging Ellie to take me back or shoving her against the wall and having my way with her until she falls back in love with me.
My phone buzzes in my hand, startling me out of my daydream. Crap. More text messages from Dax. His newest pastime is to use the camera feature on his smartphone to take shots of me being stupid, which is often. I open it and see a picture of me with two groupies after a concert, their bits hanging out while they each kiss one of my cheeks.
Lovely.
I quickly pound out a text telling him to sod off. Ellie will be here in a few hours so I have to get my nerves under control by then. A quick shower and shave only occupies thirty minutes, so I pull out my guitar and start writing, putting words to a tune I’ve been playing around with for the last few weeks.
How can I say what I don’t even know
It wasn’t me you saw that night, darkness overwhelmed my soul
Regrets you’re too good for…
I’m useless for much more…
Than loving you. You’re my obsession.
Take my confession. Be my possession.
Made an impression … on me.
I can’t erase you
You’re indelible.
The knock on the door of my suite is so faint, I wouldn’t have heard it had I been playing my guitar any louder. I put it down and scrub my hands down my face, crossing the lounge to the small foyer.
When I pull the door open, all of my anxieties fall away at the sight of my girl. She heals me- her quiet strength, her hauntingly beautiful eyes, the pure innocence that I know will surround me when I embrace her.
“Jesus, El. I’ve missed you so much.” My breath hitches as she steps towards me.
Her eyes tear up and I grab her trembling hands, drawing her to my chest where she belongs. The sweet sigh that she makes as I bury my nose in her golden hair undoes me.
“El…” She snuggles into me further, as if she can’t get close enough. The feel of her body against mine is like coming home again. Finally, everything feels right again, the past five years of craving a drink in order to cope with the emptiness inside can finally stop now that I have her here.
Ellie seems to forget where she is for a moment, allowing me to hold her in my arms, surrounded by my warmth. At some point, she realizes how intimate our embrace is, because she jerks away and looks at me with her wide blue eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” she starts.
“Shhhhh, It’s alright El. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.” I try to calm her down as she backs away a few steps, putting space between us. “Come in.” I step aside so she can enter the main area of the suite.
“Thank you, Adam.” Ellie walks into the luxurious lounge, taking in all of the plush furnishings that we wouldn’t dream of having in Hackney. She chooses a soft, ultra suede couch to sit on and lowers herself gracefully.
I take in all of her, her wavy blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail, softly trailing down her back. She’s wearing a tight pair of black leggings with high black riding boots, and a form-fitting, blue, half-zip jumper that makes her eyes look like sapphires. Gorgeous as she is, she’s not wearing makeup and she certainly doesn’t need any.
I notice that the giant engagement ring is gone from her left hand. Did she leave it off on purpose? Or did she just forget to put it on? I swallow loudly, trying not to let my nerves show.