Resist (Sphere of Irony 3)

My mind is spinning with a hundred different thoughts at once. The only thing I can focus on, however, is Mitch’s warm, hard body beneath me and the brush of his lips across mine.

“Let’s get off the floor,” I suggest. Despite my desire to curl up against Mitch and never move from this spot, he must be pretty uncomfortable with my full weight pressing him down on the floor.

He nods so I stand up and offer a hand. When Mitch takes it I thread our fingers together and lead him to my en suite bathroom and turn on the shower. Mitch leans against the sink, watching me as I move around the small space.

“I don’t regret what happened, Gavin.” Stepping in front of me, Mitch slides his arms around my waist and gives me a quick kiss. “Let’s clean up.”

After a brief, but fun shower, we lie on my bed in silence. Mitch is dragging a finger up and down my skin from chest to waist. I flinch, barking out a laugh.

“Ticklish?” he asks, his eyes alight with amusement.

“No.” I try to hold in another laugh when he does it again and fail miserably.

“Liar. You are so ticklish.” Mitch rolls until he’s on top of me, those wicked fingers digging into my sides.

“Stop!” I sputter, struggling to dislodge him. He continues his assault while cackling like a hyena. “S-stop!”

“Fine. You win.” Mitch brings his hands up to frame my face, leaning on his elbows as he hovers above me. “You’re so gorgeous, Gavin. I’ve never felt so good. So…” he struggles for words. “So much like myself, like I’m finally who I’m supposed to be.”

He’s giving me the opening and I can’t say I’m not dying to get answers, so I take a chance. “What happened, Mitch? Why pretend to be straight?”

The joy in those grey eyes fades. This time it’s not replaced by his usual blank, cold expression. Instead, I see hurt and regret. Mitch goes back to his side of the bed, leaving me thinking I should have kept my mouth shut.

He sits against the headboard, dragging both hands down his face. “You really want to know?”

I scoot up until I’m sitting next to him. Taking one of his hands in mine, I squeeze it gently. “Yeah, I do. If you want to tell me, that is.”

The clash of emotions inside him is obvious. Mitch wants to rid himself of whatever has been weighing him down, but he’s clearly uncomfortable with the subject of his sexuality.

“I’ve always known I liked guys,” Mitch admits. “Starting in middle school when everyone was noticing girls, I only had eyes for Brent Spears.” He huffs out a small laugh.

“Go on,” I squeeze his hand again, bringing it to my lips to place a small kiss on the back. “I won’t judge you.”

“I know you won’t. I’m just… ashamed, I guess. Of denying it for so long. Of feeling like I had to deny it. I’m a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” I snap. “Everyone’s story is different. Coming out is very personal, Mitch.” His eyes meet mine and I smile. “Even when it’s done in front of dozens of paparazzi to lure out a crazy stalker.”

“I’m sorry if I pushed you to come out before you were ready.” Those eyes turn to liquid steel and I melt.

“You didn’t push me, Mitch. I was more than ready. Besides, I am capable of saying no. Even to you.”

He smirks. “Yeah, you are.” The smile vanishes. “Anyway, I planned on coming out after high school, you know? When I got to college I figured it would be easier. Being in an environment where no one knows you. It sounded safer.”

I nod in agreement. “

Of course. Makes sense.” And it does. “I hadn’t planned on my dad figuring it out about me. Somehow he did.”

Mitch reaches over and brushes my unruly hair back off my forehead, pressing a small kiss on the exposed skin.

“So did you come out in college?” I ask, already guessing the answer and not wanting him to ask about my dad.

“No.” His mouth twists into a grimace. “I went to college in the D.C. area, moving out of my parents’ house to live on campus with every intention of living my life as me. The real me. No more fake girlfriends, no more having to get drunk just to be able to fuck them in order to have some sort of human contact.”

I cringe at the thought of a young Mitch forcing himself to have sex with women to stave off loneliness.

“That’s something I’ve never done,” I admit.

“What? Been with a woman?” He looks genuinely surprised.