“That’s probably all too true, El.”
The door to the back room opens and Liam comes out looking no worse for the wear. He walks calmly over to the bar, taking his seat on the other side of Ellie. “No worries, you’re all good now. Dax just needed to vent.”
When Dax finally comes back into the main area of the pub, he seems to have gotten himself together. I know him well enough to see through it. His face is pale and stressed and his jaw is clenched to hide the physical pain. I want to ask him what’s going on, but he always gives me my privacy when it comes to the shit with my family, so I can’t bring myself to intrude.
Hawke comes back inside and seats himself behind the drums.
“Where’s Gavin?” Dax grunts, picking up his guitar. “Let’s finish this shit and go home.”
I exchange glances with Liam and he almost imperceptibly shakes his head, warning me to leave it alone.
“Alright.” I stand up and grab my guitar. “Gavin! We’re doing this!”
Gavin hangs up his call and hurries over to his bass. The next hour is awkward as hell, but we actually sound really great by the time we finish what we needed to get done.
Dax doesn’t say a word as he packs up his stuff and storms out of the DK.
There’s a loud sigh from Dax’s brother. “I guess I’m going as well.” Liam hops off of his stool, giving Ellie a crooked grin. “Don’t mind him, he’s just…” Liam cocks his head and shoots me a knowing look.
“I know, Liam. Not a problem.”
He nods and turns back to Ellie. “Ellie, I’ll see you some other time?”
“Of course. Thanks for keeping me company.” Ellie stands up, sliding her hand in mine. “I’m so used to being the fifth wheel, it’s nice to have someone to chat with every now and again.” I squeeze her hand appreciatively letting her know how glad I am that she’s always there, willing to support me.
“Anytime,” Liam says. He calls out his goodbyes to Hawke and Gavin and disappears out the door to catch up with his very grumpy younger brother.
“That was fun,” I say sarcastically. “Ready to get out of here?”
Ellie laughs and kisses my cheek. “I’m always ready.” Her eyes sparkle with mischief. I can’t help but grin at her giddiness.
“Let’s go then. Now that the rain has stopped, I know this great park where we can continue what we started in that capsule.”
She grins as I tug her towards the door. Jesus, is it possible that I love her? I have no idea what love feels like, having never received it before, but if it feels as good as this then I’m sure I’ve been missing out. If there’s one thing Ellie does to me, it’s that she makes me feel, sensations so confusing and at the same time so amazing that I don’t ever want them to end.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s love, and as I look at the gorgeous girl next to me I realize I’m the luckiest bastard in London.
11
Ellie
Adam and I have fallen into a comfortable routine; school, his rehearsals and gigs, and the two of us snogging until my lips are chapped and both of our bodies are humming with desire.
Two months we’ve been together. I’m frustrated that Adam won’t take our physical relationship further. Waiting a little longer won’t kill me, even though sometimes it feels like it might. Adam worries way too much about corrupting me, about not being good enough for me. We’re all just people, aren’t we? Each one of us looking for someone to love, to have a connection with. What difference does it make who we are or where we’re from?
“Ellie? Where’s your head?”
“Huh?” I turn to face Kate, completely lost at this point in our conversation. Actually, I was unaware that we were even having a conversation as I was too involved in daydreaming of ways to get Adam to stop holding out on me. Not that I’m experienced enough to even know what any of these ways are or how to make them work.
Kate gives me a knowing smile. “You’re thinking about Adam again, aren’t you? Sneaky bitch,” she giggles, shoving me playfully.
“What do you think?” I mutter, embarrassed to have been caught fantasizing about my boyfriend.
“Well, he is smoking hot,” she says, fanning herself with her hand dramatically. “I’d bang him every chance I got if I were you. Maybe you need to take another spin on the Eye, that’ll do it.”
“Kate! Stop it!” I push her away, and feel the burning heat flood my entire face and neck. I knew I shouldn’t have told her that.
It’s been hard to be with Adam at school. Most of the girls here want him, and a massive amount of them have already had him. Both groups, meaning most of the female population of the school, hate me on principle and wish me dead for being the one to get him.