“Yeah, you too.” I give him one last glance, watching as he joins his mates. He grabs a gorgeous blonde girl and kisses her. Sighing, I turn back to face the stage.
When the show is over, Kate leads me backstage. My nerves are so shot I can hardly put one foot in front of the other. The vodka that had me feeling so good earlier has left me queasy and stumbling.
“Are you ready?” she asks, her face so serious that I almost laugh.
“No… but let’s do this.” I smooth my hands down the beautiful red dress Kate lent me and paste on a giant smile.
She knocks on the dressing room door and walks right on in, not waiting for anyone to answer. Four men spin and face us, shock on three faces, and confusion on the fourth.
“Ellie! Bloody hell! I can’t believe it!” Dax crosses the room in three big strides and grabs me, swinging me round in a circle. “What are you doing here?” He plants a giant, wet kiss on my cheek, laughing as we spin.
“Put me down and I’ll tell you,” I cry out. “Unless you want me to be sick all over you.” He frees me from his suffocating arms and puts me on my feet. Before I can explain, the other guys are on me in an instant.
“Ellie! How’s it going?” Gavin embraces me in a tight hug.
Hawke comes up and gives me a hug as soon as Gavin releases me. “What’s up, girl?”
The last man clears his throat as he walks over to us.
“Oh,” Dax says. “El, this is our manager, Ross Evans. He’s Hawke’s uncle.”
The dark haired, older man leans in and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you. Ellie, is it?”
“Yes, nice to meet you as well.” I scan the room and realize that Adam isn’t here. The crushing disappointment must show on my face.
“He already left for a party. Jumped a ride with one of the film crew,” Gavin whispers in my ear. He knows me well enough to gather that I’m here for Adam. “I’m guessing he didn’t know you were coming, since none of us knew.”
I look at the floor, too embarrassed to face my friends after disappearing on them without a word last year. “I’m sorry, Gavin.”
“Ellie, we know what you went through. It’s okay, no one is mad at you.” Gavin takes my hand in his and gives it a friendly squeeze.
“Is Adam mad at me? You know, for what I did?” I finally bring my eyes up to meet theirs. As my gaze lands on each familiar face, I see pity, or possibly sadness for me, confirming my suspicions. Inhaling a shaky breath I tell them, “It’s fine, really. I wouldn’t expect him to not be angry after what I did. I’m sure I deserve it.” I put on my best pretend smile. “Now, let’s get to this party, yeah?”
The three men give me weak smiles and agree with me, grabbing their things so we can head out. Hawke’s uncle says his good-byes and tells the guys he’ll speak with them tomorrow.
Kate bumps her hip into mine. “C’mon El, we’re going to a big Hollywood party. It’ll be great.”
I don’t reply. There’s nothing to say. The dread in the pit of my stomach is growing, and the only person who can stop it isn’t here and most likely doesn’t want to see me.
It takes everything I have not to just catch a cab for the airport and fly back home, letting the misery consume me. The only thing that keeps me going is the belief that I owe Adam closure. If he wants to shout at me, hate me, never see me again… I at least want to give him that chance.
I can only hope for myself that he still loves me, yet for his sake, I hope he doesn’t.
It’s just easier that way.
21
Adam
The sleek car pulls up in front of a giant, gated mansion in the Hollywood Hills. It’s lit up like the London Eye and is almost as big as Kensington Palace. The decadence of it is outrageous.
“Christ, this place is huge,” I mutter to myself as I stare out the passenger side window.
I wasn’t as quiet as I thought because the guy driving responds to me. “I know. Sebastian Wright is a big deal in this town. He produces a lot of films and almost always has at least one nomination each year at awards season.”
I think about that for a few minutes as we wait in line for the valet. If I could get a role, even a small one, in one of this guy’s movies, I could get enough money to fly home and find El. Maybe even enough to mo
ve her and her mum to L.A. so she wouldn’t have to choose between us again.