The Complete Rockstar Series

Gavin puts his hand over mine, gently extracting the bottle. He places it out of reach, knowing full well I can easily get it back if I want it.

He snorts. “I know that’s not true. If you were arrested and found guilty, you could lose your visa. You could lose your ability to travel to the U.S. and other countries. So I know you care.”

“Whatever.” I throw back the rest of the scotch, slamming the glass down on the table.

“Now, what’s going on with you?”

“Are we this fucking annoying when Adam is on the piss?” I ask with a humorless chuckle. I can’t believe I feel bad for getting on Adam’s case all those times, but right now, I do.

“Yeah, we are,” Gavin responds, smiling.

“Shit.” I rub my hand over my eyes. “I broke it off with Kate.”

“You did what?” he yells. “Why? What the hell—?”

Scowling, I glare at Gavin. He’s killing my buzz and I plan on getting good and rat-arsed. “Piss off, Walker. I had no choice in the matter. It’s not like I’m not gutted over it! It was for her own good. I’ll just fuck up her life. Now, give me the fucking bottle back.”

“Not until you tell me why you did it.” Gavin moves the scotch behind his body.

I narrow my eyes at him. “I can get that back you know. Don’t make me hurt you.”

The little shit smirks. “You wouldn’t hurt me. You’re a fluffy kitten underneath all that muscle.”

“Walker, you have no idea what I’m capable of,” I warn. “Now give me the bottle.”

Gavin pushes back from the table and stands to his full height, the whisky still behind his back. “I was at the game, Dax. I saw exactly what you’re capable of. It took four security guards to get you down on the ground and you still managed to hurt a few of them.” Unexpectedly, he slams the bottle down in front of me, making me flinch.

Bastard.

I reach out, curling my hand around the neck, but he doesn’t let go. Our eyes meet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gavin this angry. It’s subtle, but the fire in his eyes is unmistakable.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m half-pissed, or because I never saw it coming, or because, you know, it’s bloody Gavin, but before I can blink he has me down on the floor, pinned in some sort of fucked up ninja hold. One of my arms is wrenched behind my back, my shoulder joint screaming for relief. Gavin’s other hand is wrapped round my neck, doing it’s best to stop the flow of blood to my head. A sharp knee presses down on my lower back.

“What the fuck, Walker,” I hiss, struggling to pull in a breath.

“Go ahead and get drunk. Be a fucking pussy that won’t fight to keep Kate. But hear what I’m saying, Dax,” he leans over, his mouth inches from my ear. “You hurt her again and you’ll have to go through me to do it. I might be just a fag, but trust me when I say that I know how to fight.” He releases his hold and storms out of the kitchen.

What. The. Fuck.

Jesus. I need my mates angry with me like I need a hole in my head. Honestly, Gavin would understand why I broke up with Kate if I told him. But he’s right, I’d rather bury all my shit underneath the tough guy mask I wear everyday than discuss feelings and shit.

Rule 2—Never let your emotions show.

Fuck you dad. Fuck you for fucking me up so much I can’t have a normal relationship with a woman.

I rub my shoulder while I think of all the ways she’s better off without me, even if I could open up to her. Kate’s future is in school, playing football and getting her degree. She should settle down with some wanker accountant and have children and a house and a dog.

Being with me would lead her straight to heartbreak—tabloids, traveling, fame, paparazzi, bloody Lila—Kate’s better than all that crap. Subjecting her to it is cruel. I already made her miss the opportunity to play in an important game on Saturday. I can’t take any more of her future away.

As much as I want to go straight to Kate’s flat and beg her to take me back, I won’t. I’ve always been a self-centered tosser, only interested in my own pleasure. Just this once, I’m not going to be selfish and stay until I’ve cost Kate every single thing she has. Unfortunately, this is the one time it will cost me everything.

55

Kate

“Cheers everyone!” I raise my red plastic cup, tapping it against those of my teammates’.

Everyone in the frat house whistles and whoops at our victory toast. The house of Sigma Kappa Theta, a frat made up mostly of student athletes, is hosting a party for our NCAA Division I Championship slash holiday party since winter break started today. My entire team is here, along with most of the men’s team and a bunch of other jocks.