“I don’t know what you mean,” I reply, remaining unruffled. On the outside, anyway. Inside, I’m a powder keg waiting for a match.
“Don’t bullshit me, Gavin. All this…” he grimaces, waving his hands around in distaste. “This talk about being gay. You need to fix it and tell them it’s not true!”
The man is completely delusional. I can’t believe I ever let him control me. I can’t believe I let his pathetic opinion drive me to attempt suicide.
“I will not tell them anything of the sort. You have no say in my life. In case the ten year silence was too vague for you, here’s me being clear…” I take a step towards my dad. His eyes flick down to my hands, curled up at my sides, before returning to my face. “I’m gay, dad. A fag. I suck dick and I like it. I’m not ashamed and I don’t give a fuck what you think!”
I’ve slowly moved forward until we’re less than a foot apart. If he thinks he’s so tough, then I welcome him to try taking me down.
My dad’s eyes widen in shock and he sputters. “Y-you have to fix it! People are talking! T-this guy isn’t going to stop. H-he’ll eventually get you, Gavin.”
“What do you care what people say? You’re not associated with me,” I growl. “Haven’t been in years. And since when are you fucking worried about what happens to me?” I take another step and he stumbles back.
Holy shit. My dad is honest to fucking god afraid of me.
“Didn’t think this out, did you dad? Never figured I’d be bigger than you, huh? I’m not seventeen anymore, I’m nearly thirty. You’re just a fucking coward, only brave when bullying a kid. I might like dick, but I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be.”
My dad’s eyes narrow and he assumes a fight stance, fists raised.
I laugh. “Go ahead. I’ll even let you have the first shot.” I unclench my hands and grin.
“Just, tell them it’s not true. You need to keep that shit to yourself, Gavin! It’s not right to announce it everywhere.” He still has his hands up, but his resolve is wavering, I can see it.
“No. Now either hit me or get the fuck out of my house,” I snarl.
Slowly, his fists uncurl and fall to his sides. “You don’t know what you’re doing,” he hisses. “You have to stop.”
“I don’t care. I’m not living my life for you or anyone else.” I stride to the back door and open it. “My father is leaving,” I announce to the guard.
“B-but we’re not done here!” my dad stammers. “The stalker—”
“I believe you are done, sir,” the hulking bodyguard says. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
I nod and he takes my dad’s upper arm in his meaty paw, tugging him out the door. Before my dad can speak again, I slam it shut and lean back on the countertop.
Why does he give a shit about me being gay? His response, as fucked up as it was when I was a teenager, at least made some sense to me. I was a disappointment, not manly enough for my Air Force dad, a failure.
But now? I’m a grown adult who has no contact with him so what the hell does it matter? And he’s honestly trying to convince me he’s worried about the stalker? What the fuck ever.
Something about the conversation nags at the back of my mind, but I push it away. Right now, I feel incredible. I finally stood up to Dennis Walker and won.
I pull out my phone to share my emotional high. The first person I want to call and tell is Mitch. Then I remember I broke up with him. My breath hitches and I stuff the phone back in my pocket, tears burning my eyes.
Emotional high destroyed.
Fuck.
* * *
“So, we’ve gotten quite a few leads with all of the combined information. The case is moving along smoothly.” Agent Halifax says grinning.
“Good, that’s good.” The man continues staring at me. Jesus, this fucker makes me uncomfortable. “Where’s Agent Van Zandt?”
“He’s following up on an interview. Sometimes we split up to cover more ground.” The man shrugs and gives me another one of his lecherous smiles.
I have to concentrate to keep from flinching in disgust. The weird tension is unbearable. “Drink?” I ask, pulling a couple of glasses out of the cabinet.
“Just water, please.”