I sit back in my chair. “Like what?”
“You can’t go into the ring, fight, and be done. There are interviews, parties, fan meet and greets, all kinds of social activities you will be expected to take part in.” I cross my arms over my chest and let my hood fall over my eyes. “You can keep up the silent, brooding act if you like.” I glance up, about to interrupt when Gabriel holds up a hand. “But, you will take part in league events. It’s in the contract.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit,” he replies, laughing. “You can do it, Killer. I see past this cold façade you display for everyone.” He waves his hand in my direction. “There’s a good guy in there somewhere. You just need to give him a chance.”
I narrow my eyes at Gabriel. “I’m a lot of things, Gabriel, but one thing I’m not, is a good guy.”
He folds his hands on top of his desk and shrugs. “You say that, but I don’t believe it.”
Familiar defensiveness and hostility flare up in my chest, sizzling, burning until they work their way into every cell in my body. Rage and self-loathing swirl inside, churning and clawing their way out, begging to be released in a flurry of violence. Seething, I hold back the urges, speaking through clenched teeth.
“It doesn’t matter what you believe. I know what I am.”
“Oh, but it does. It very much matters. I wouldn’t train you if I didn’t believe in you. This would be a waste of my time, no?” Before I can respond to his bullshit psychobabble, he continues. “Britt is waiting for you in her office. She wants to talk to you about one of your takedowns.” The dismissal isn’t harsh, but it’s clear.
Tense and ready to snap, I jump to my feet, eager to get out of the cramped space. “Fine.”
Without sparing him a final look, I storm out of Gabriel’s office and make my way to Britt’s treatment room. Her back is to me when I enter the room and drop into my usual seat.
As quiet as I am most of the time, today I’m thoroughly irritated and therefore pretty loud when I stomp in and take a seat. Oddly, Britt doesn’t seem to hear me at all. I clear my throat so I won’t startle her like that asshole Max loves to do.
Britt glances my way and smiles, her eyes lighting up at the sight of me. What the fuck? Why is it the only two people in the world who treat me like I’m human both work here, in the very city where my humanity was stripped away? It pisses me off that they don’t get it. Mostly because being treated kindly makes the guilt even worse, gnawing at what little is left of my hollow insides. I can’t allow her to see me as human when I’m not.
“K, you’re early,” she chirps, just as happy and normal as could be.
I grunt out a response. “Yeah.”
As usual, she pretends I’m polite instead of a massive dick.
“Okay, give me a minute to boot up my laptop. I want to show you something quick, then we can move out to the cage.”
Also as usual, Britt yanks her chair from behind her desk to cozy up next to me so we can both see the computer screen at once. Her loose blonde hair brushes my shoulder and I catch the faint scent of citrus. When her hand accidentally touches mine, I nearly fly out of my seat. It’s as if a million tiny sparks ignite my skin, blazing hot, the heat singeing me from the base of my spine to the top of my skull.
I’m so fucking confused and stressed out, I don’t hear a word Britt says. My body wanted Britt the first time I laid eyes on her. I held back because she’s too good, too innocent, and certainly not deserving of the shitty treatment I’d give her. Yet Britt sparks an emotion in me I thought died with my little sister. Something besides the need to satisfy raw animal lust.
Desire? Affection? Adoration?
Shit, I sound like a pussy. By the time I pull my head out of my ass, Britt is staring at me, waiting for me to speak. When I don’t, her pink lips turn down in the corners.
“K?”
“What?” I snap, annoyed at Gabriel, annoyed at the way Britt dredges up feelings I gave up on years ago, annoyed at myself for having any feelings at all. Hurt shines behind those wide blue eyes, but Britt collects herself quickly and it’s gone in a single blink.
“Are you ready to try out the new positions?”
My mind instantly goes to all of the positions I want to try with Britt and my dick gets embarrassingly hard—pounding her from behind, thrusting into that inviting mouth… Shit. Once again, I silently thank my athletic cup for saving me from humiliation. At this rate, I’ll need to wear it all the damn time.
“Uh,” I swallow, nervous for the first time in god knows how long. “S-sure?”
Britt is momentarily stunned, certainly a result of the rare crack in my armor. She shakes her head and stands. “Let’s go.”
Britt
K is acting weird today. Okay, he’s always weird, but this is different. He’s almost… shy? Embarrassed? Either way, the silent confidence he projects is gone, or flickering in and out, allowing me a few wonderful moments with the real K. The one I’m certain he hides behind that big old tattooed alpha exterior.
Without saying a word—big shock—K follows me to cage six. The grappling dummy, a black and red leather figure, is splayed out obscenely on the mat, waiting for us. Heat floods my face. Max positioned the damn thing on its back, legs spread and pointing upward, as if held in place by invisible gynecological stirrups.