Breaking the Cycle

She understood him. He grew up in Queens, and was exposed to a number of things as a child; things even adults should not have been subjected to. Drugs, crime, murder, and prostitution. He truly came from the stereotypical difficult background. He never knew his father, and his mother worked several jobs to keep a roof over his and his three siblings’ heads. Unfortunately, she had died before he turned 16, and Todd was forced into several foster homes, none of which helped to nurture or improve his mentality. Todd managed to graduate from high school and went to Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey, on a dual wrestling and academic scholarship. He excelled there, and became a very high-strung and extremely driven young man. He majored in journalism, where he found his niche. He was exceptionally resourceful at researching and investigating, and wrote a number of award-winning articles for the local newspaper. Todd wanted to succeed, and made that clear to anyone whom he met. Helping him was the least Dawn could do to support him. He didn’t need her bringing him down, too.

She liked his virility, and his take-charge manner. His strength and disposition kind of reminded her of her father.

Todd was a short, medium-framed, light brown-skinned man, who always dressed well. His closet was filled with expensive, tailor-made shirts and suits. Italian, soft-leather shoes. He was almost obsessive about his appearance, and went to the barbershop twice a week for a shape-up and hot lather, straight razor shave. But he wasn’t a handsome man. He had small dark eyes, and didn’t have many outstanding features. He had large hands and even bigger feet. But he had the typical “Napoleon Complex.” The short man’s syndrome. He was confident, borderline conceited.

“He didn’t notice me from a can of paint. Not until the time I saved one of his articles from getting into the wrong hands. It was full of errors. He eventually confided in me that he suffered from dyslexia. He had a girlfriend who had always proofed his work, but they had broken up, so, that’s how the article slipped through. Todd had never learned to type, and wrote everything out in longhand. He would’ve been too through if anyone ever found out,” Dawn said. “Your daddy doesn’t like to be embarrassed. He’s a very proud man. Yeah, he’s really proud.”

Dawn had caught frightful glimpses of Todd’s arrogance on the job. Whenever something didn’t happen the way Todd thought it should, he would explode. He’d throw a tantrum and sometimes wreck his office in a fit of rage. He often said that the other reporters were “jealous of him,” or that his editor was “playing favorites,” or just plain “out to get him.” Whatever the case was, Dawn found herself sympathizing with him, and eventually falling for him.

“I liked that he needed me and trusted me enough to share his vulnerabilities with me. We eventually grew very close.”

They shared everything. Dawn worked long hours to help Todd, and proof his work. Eventually, Todd’s thankfulness turned to love. Over Chinese food in Todd’s cramped little office, once Dawn placed the last key stroke on the third revision of Todd’s overdue article, he hugged her, and she heard his heart beating. The bear hug melted into passionate, urgent gropes and kisses.

With reckless regard, he shoved the contents of his crammed desk to the floor, and swung her on top of the desk. Papers, pens, and half-filled coffee mugs scattered across the crowded floor, and Todd tore at her clothes with his oversized hands.

“Wait, wait,” Dawn said, and reached for the lever to close the Venetian blinds. “You need to lock the door, too, Todd.”

“It’s locked,” he grunted, his words thick and hurried, as he nuzzled his face into her chest. Never had Dawn been taken so strongly. He yanked her argyle sweater over her head, and released her full breasts from her underwire bra.

His big hands ravaged her body, and even though Dawn had dated men much larger than Todd, the force in which he consumed her took her by surprise. He pinched her nipples and crammed her breasts into his mouth, sucking voraciously as he pinned her arms behind her back. He bent her head over the edge of the desk and ripped a hole in her expensive pantyhose.

Dawn felt captive and helpless. Swept away with Todd’s passion, she wasn’t sure if she was experiencing agony or ecstasy. She formed her lips to say no, but Todd covered them with his hand. He entered her and screwed her mercilessly, and she nearly gagged as his fingers slipped in and out of her mouth. Dawn moaned and wanted to scream, but eventually her body relented to his forceful will. Todd was a loud, aggressive lover, who grunted and nearly howled when he came. He collapsed in a sweaty heap on top of her, struggling to catch his breath.

“Damn, Girl. You are something else,” he said, and finally released his thick fingers from her mouth. He looked at her, with a curious expression on his face. “You really turned me on, Dawn.”

Dawn was almost too afraid to move. When Todd finally slid off her, she slowly sat up, unsure of what to say. “I don’t know what to say, Todd. I don’t want you to think I do this with every man I see, because I don’t.” She slowly collected herself, smoothed her clothes down, and thought about what a mess she must be.

Todd stood, and shook himself off, and Dawn caught a glimpse of his package. For a small guy, he was pretty well-endowed. “I got that feeling, Dawn. But damn, with what you got, I kind of don’t want to think of you with anyone else,” he said with a wink.

D

awn still didn’t know what to think or say. “What are you saying, Todd?”

“I’m saying, we obviously work well together. You know what I mean? Let’s just see where this goes.”

They started to spend more and more time together, and before long, Dawn and Todd were seeing each other exclusively. They had a near perfect routine. He would stay with her during the week at her apartment in Montclair, and they spent lazy weekends down at Dawn’s family house in Cape May. On Monday mornings, they’d rush back to town, commuting like suburban newlyweds. They had great conversations, and wonderful debates and discussions, and Dawn liked the way Todd’s mind worked. She loved his intelligence and bravado, and felt safe and secure when she was in his company. Their lovemaking was always too intense, borderline a little rough, but she eventually learned to like it. It was just his way, she had convinced herself.

She enjoyed working with Todd, and being with him, even though he was getting a little more uptight at work. It became more and more evident the one evening she and Todd were working late, and he found out that one of his fellow reporters had gotten a promotion. Todd went off.

“God-damned flunky. I swear that motherfucker must be sucking the old man’s dick,” Todd said as he stormed into his tiny office, where Dawn sat editing one of his articles. He was on a tight deadline for it, and it was full of errors. Dawn was straining her eyes to decipher Todd’s sloppy handwriting.

“Did you hear me, Dawn?”

“Huh? I’m sorry, Todd. What did you say?”

“I said, that sorry ass motherfucker got a promotion,” he said.

“Who?” Dawn asked, her eyes still scanning his rumpled pages.

“Aren’t you listening to me? Bob, that ‘bobbing his head’ Hodges. That ass-kissing son of a bitch.”

“Oh, really?” Dawn rubbed her tired eyes. “Don’t worry about it, Baby. I’m sure that things will work out for you, too.”

“What the fuck do you mean by that, Dawn? What the fuck you mean?” Todd’s eyes turned dark and his left eye began to twitch.

“I’m just saying, things will be okay. You’re a good reporter, Todd. An excellent one, at that. You’ll get your promotion soon. I just know it.” Dawn peered at Todd, but quickly went back to the article.

Todd kicked the door shut and stared at Dawn, a look of disbelief on his face. “What kind of shit is that? Don’t talk to me like I’m some fuckin’ kid.”