Vengeance

“Just don’t get rid of your Cabbage Patch dolls, the Snoopy Sno-Cones machine, or those Moxi roller skates.”

She laughed. “Sometimes I forget how young you are.” She sighed. “Speaking of which, I’m still trying to figure out a way to get you registered for school in the spring.”

“Who needs school? I can get a job and help out around here.”

“A job doing what? I can’t even get a decent-ass job and I have my high school diploma. I started boosting to make ends meet, and now I’m all caught up.”

“You get a rush from it, don’t you?” I asked, recalling the enthusiasm she always seemed to have when she unloaded her “take” for the day on the worn sofa.

“It’s partly that, but it is also mostly because I don’t have to deal with the bullshit that would come about from a regular job. Sure, I could get some fast-food work or maybe even get into a call center, but people are so judgmental about my choices. I don’t have the tolerance to have to defend myself from ridicule day after day. Being a booster allows me to stay off the radar.” She smirked. “But I am good. I haven’t been arrested in going on three years, and that’s a record.”

“What happens when they arrest you?”

“A bunch of nonsense, purely for show, then I post a little bail, and walk. They have serious crimes to worry about here. Up until about five years ago, The Bronx was the murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, and arson capital of America.”

I was stunned. “Really? I mean, I can see that it’s rough here, but everyone I’ve met seems so nice.”

“Most people around here are nice, but that has nothing to do with the crazies who had a total disregard for human life. That’s why you need to get your ass back in school. So you can make something of yourself.”

I looked down at the floor. “I can’t go back to school. Not yet. Are you forgetting what my classmates in Georgia did to me the night we met?”

Hannah grabbed my shoulders and forced me to make eye contact. “Listen to me, nature has a way of weeding out the thorns. Let karma take care of them, and I understand how you feel, but they are more than a thousand miles away and can’t hurt you now.”

“That doesn’t mean kids here won’t make fun of my scar.” I was on the brink of tears. “It’s not like I can cover up my face. My mother should’ve just killed me that day and gotten it over with.”

Hannah pulled me close to her and hugged me tightly. “You’re special. Believe me when I say that. You are going to turn your test into your testimony and your mess into your message one day. Don’t give up on life, and fuck anyone who thinks they’re better than you. They’re not. There are not any Big I’s and Little U’s in this world. We are all unique in our own way.”

I continued to fight back the tears. “I want to believe you, I do. It’s just that . . .”

“Just that nothing.” Hannah let me go and got up off the bed. “Now go get ready for dinner. All those clothes I’ve jacked for you and you’re sporting sweat pants and my old Beatles T-shirt. Go put on a nice dress.”

“Who all is coming?” I asked.

“Sebastian, Crispin, Nigel, and Shayne.”

“Oh boy,” I said, thinking of the individuals she had just named. “It’s going to be a long night.”

Hannah chuckled. “Yeah, but a fun one. Bet you’ve never had a Thanksgiving like the one you’re about to have.”

“That’s for damn sure.”

* * *

Less than four hours later, we were all sprawled across the living room with stuffed stomachs and chilling to “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House. Sebastian started belting out the words, and the next thing you know, everyone else had joined in, including me.

I was a bit tipsy because Hannah had allowed me a little bit of wine at dinner. I ended up getting up off the sofa and started doing an impromptu dance to the slow song before breaking out into the second verse. It took a few seconds before I realized that everyone else had stopped singing. They were all staring at me.

“Get it, girl!” Crispin yelled out.

“Work it now!” Nigel added.

Everyone in the house was transgender except for me. Nigel and Sebastian were female to male and Hannah, Shayne, and Crispin were all male to female. I loved, loved, loved their confidence and wished that I had it myself.

I started singing louder and dancing even more. Being around them made me feel comfortable. They all got up on their feet and started dancing with me until the song ended. Crispin gave me her white satin scarf from around her neck and I waved it around in the air as I landed in a split on the psychedelic carpet on the last note.

“Damn, Caprice, I didn’t know you could sing!” Hannah yelled out.

“That’s because I can’t sing,” I replied. “At least not better than the next person.”