Vengeance

“Prozac, Dilantin, Ativan, and Lithobid, the breakfast of champions!”

“I realize you hate taking all that stuff, but it’s better than the alternative.”

“Don’t worry. I have no plans to shoot anyone or run them over in the street.”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself, either. That’s happened in the past.”

“You say that like I wasn’t there.” I was getting upset about the entire conversation. “Look, Daddy, I’m sure you already knew that I was still on my meds. Even with patient-doctor confidentiality laws, they’re all on your payroll one way or another. They know what side their bread is buttered on.”

Daddy took another sip of whiskey and followed it up with a puff on his cigar.

“I’m not privy to what you’re doing with Dr. Spencer.”

“I’m surprised. Then again, she doesn’t seem like the type that could be bought.”

“You must admire that trait about her. The two of you have that in common.”

Daddy was referring to the fact that some of the richest men in the world had tried to date me. One Arabian prince had even offered me $10 million for one night of sex. Another man offered to sign over the deed to his skyscraper in Milan for an opportunity to date me. Then there was my refusal to perform concerts in countries where women were mistreated and undervalued. That was truly a sensitive issue for me. Women being stoned to death for cheating, even if there was no proof. Women being shot to death on their wedding nights if they weren’t virgins; their own fathers providing their grooms with the guns and bullets. Young girls being forced to marry their rapists so that their families won’t be shamed by their communities. Female circumcisions and mutilations. The Sworn Virgins of Albania who were forced to live as men if they did not engage in arranged marriages. The list went on and on.

“I like Marcella a lot. Something about her makes me feel comfortable.”

“That’s good. You’ve never really connected with your past therapists.”

“I feel like I’m evolving. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that there are no shortcuts. I wish that I could jump inside a time warp and suddenly become the new me.”

“And who is the new Ladonna?”

“I guess we’ll both find out at the same time.”

I giggled and got up to look outside the window. Park Avenue was nothing like Times Square late at night. The streets were not crammed with people, and it was rather quiet. All the fancy stores were shut down, and even the restaurants closed their kitchens earlier than those a few blocks over.

“I hope that I can finally beat my depression. Have some kind of normal existence.”

“What about a love interest? Met any intriguing men in Atlanta?”

Thoughts of Jonovan immediately popped into my head.

“It’s complicated.” I turned to look at him. “Why are you always pressuring me to get a man?”

“Ladonna, I’m barely in the country, rather less putting pressure on you to get a man. However, I’ll admit that I would love to know that someone will be here to take care of you once I’m gone.”

“Why do you keep talking like you’re dying? Are you sick, Daddy?”

He chuckled. “I’m as strong as an ox, but I’m also a realist. You’re about to turn forty and I’ll be seventy-three the day after tomorrow.”

“And still a player player,” I said jokingly. Daddy had women posted up in several different countries. He never settled down, because he always thought women were all gold diggers. I was the only female he’d ever trusted with his cash, and most likely his heart. “Don’t be fucking around with that Viagra, either. It might mess you up.”

Daddy shook his head. “This is not an appropriate conversation for a father-daughter evening.”

“Oh come on, I’m Wicket. I know all about older men still trying to swim in the ill na-na.”

He chuckled. “You and your choice of words.”

I went back over to sit down across from him. “I’m writing this song called ‘Surge’ for my new album.”

“Oh yeah. What’s it based on?”

I looked him in the eyes. “This guy I went to high school with.”