I ended up paying not only for my ticket, but his also. I even shelled out about twenty dollars on concessions. Everything had to be individual. Sharing popcorn and candy was out, for obvious reasons.
The movie was hilarious. I was all into it until Conquesto started trying to feel me up. I felt his hand on my thigh and knocked it off. Could he take a hint? Not if you drew “Don’t fucking touch me!” with a marker on your forehead. He kept trying to get me to lean over the armrest enough for him to kiss me. I told him I didn’t kiss on the first date; not ever. That’s what those lying ass heifers always try to say on television dating shows about five minutes before the camera catches them locking tongues with the person they’d spoken that bullshit to. Yeah right! If they could say it with a straight face, so could I; except I wouldn’t become a hypocrite and go back on my word.
When we arrived back at my building, I fully intended to have Conquesto drop me off out front. I was confident there wouldn’t be any parking spaces at that time of night for blocks. Wrong! There was one right in front. He didn’t waste a second grabbing it either.
“Can I come up and use your bathroom?” he asked, looking for justification to get in my crib.
“I thought you went before we left the Cineplex?”
“I did, but that large soda really did me in. How many ounces was it, anyway?”
“I haven’t a clue, but the sodas at theaters are gigantic now. I guess that’s why they can get away with the outrageous prices.”
“I never thought about it like that.”
“Do you ever think about washing your hands?” I couldn’t help myself. I had to know.
“Huh? Excuse me?”
“I noticed you didn’t wash your hands when you used my bathroom earlier. Frankly, I find that disgusting. So, if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer for you to find a restroom somewhere else.”
“That’s really fucked up!” he lashed out at me, his bottom lip quivering like he wanted to punch me dead in the face. “I take you out and you start dissin’ me and shit!”
“You drove, yes. However, as far as I’m concerned, I took you out because I paid for everything. Comprende?”
“Fine, whatever, hoe!”
Oh, no he didn’t go there!
“Hoe?” I was steamed, but tried to turn it around on him. After all, I was far from a hoe so his words were irrelevant. I snickered at him. “This evening has been interesting, but I’ve heard and seen enough. Goodnight.”
I got out of his car and walked under the awning to the front door of the building. Before I could get my keys out, Conquesto had jumped out the car and lurked up behind me.
“I’m sorry, Rayne.”
Umph, umph, umph! He actually thought that line was going to fly twice in one night! Not even!
“I was out of line for calling you a hoe. Rayne, I’m used to people hardballin’ me so I hardball back. It’s rough in the joint.”
“I can imagine, but I hope to never find out,” I replied honestly.
“Can I see you again?”
“No, I don’t think so.” I decided to be polite, turned around, and shook his hand. I planned to scrub the skin off my hand the second I got up to my place. “Thanks for the evening. Tell Boom I’ll see her on Thursday.”
I wanted to end the date on a pleasant note. After all, good hairdressers, ones that don’t chop off half your head when you ask for a trim and ones that don’t burn your scalp when they put in perms, are hard as hell to find.
Conquesto finally decided to give up. “Well, you take care, Rayne. I’m sorry if I offended you in some way.”
“It’s cool, Conquesto.”
I got the door open, leaving it ajar long enough to watch him back to his car.
“Say, Rayne, you have any girlfriends that might be interested in a smooth ass brother like me?” He grabbed his dick through his trousers. “I’m hung like a motherfucker, too. Wanna see my schlong?”
“That’s quite alright.” I suppressed a laugh, wondering if the idiot would be stupid enough to really pull out his dick on M Street.
“Well, what about one of your fine friends?” He continued to pester me.