“Damn, she called your place a shithole,” Boom said.
Yo-Yo and Tamu joined her in a round of laughter.
“I don’t live in anything remotely close to a shithole. Momma’s mad because she expected me to drop everything and cater to her the second she hit town. Unexpectedly, I might add. I had no idea she was coming to visit and my plans were already made.”
This new reality show was on the broken-down television. I decided to zone them out and see what it was all about. Boom, Momma, and the rest of the hens talked about the latest hoochie fashions, the latest players in the hip-hop arena, and of course about fucking while I watched the show. It was called Raoul’s Love Unions and it was about women who were trying to hook up with midgets. I seemed to recall the same little fella having another show a few years back. Raoul’s Midget Gladiators, I believed. It had done okay in ratings but left the air suddenly because one of the midgets got harmed during an obstacle course and sued the producers.
This blonde was on there talking about how she’d always had this secret fantasy about making love with a midget. She hinted at the fact that his face would be in the perfect spot for “certain delightful activities.” Some of the regular television stations might as well go ahead and go porno. Any person over the age of ten—possibly even eight—would know that she was referring to getting her pussy eaten.
I was shaking my head at the nonsense when my cell phone started chanting, “Incoming call!” I retrieved it from my purse, flipped it open and said, “This is Rayne.”
“Rayne, this is Yardley.”
“Hey, baby. We still going to the movies?”
“For sure. I was just calling to check on your progress.”
“Things are coming along. Boom’s finishing up with Momma and then it’ll take her about fifteen minutes to yank the curlers out my hair and get it situated.”
“Cool. I’ve missed you the last couple of days.”
Now I was going to have to go home and change my panties yet again. He made me wet when he said things like that.
“I’ve missed you, too, Yardley.”
Boom and Momma started snickering and I turned my back to them. I could see them in the reflection of the mirror, eyeing me and trying to read my lips once I lowered my voice.
I also turned the volume of the television up before I continued, “How was your day?”
“Long but prosperous. And yours at the bank?”
“Long and boring. Chance called in sick today so I was lonely.”
“Is she okay?” Yardley asked.
“She’s fine. She and Ricky went to go look at apartments and they didn’t want to wait until the weekend. Most of the rental offices close by the time we get off from work.”
“I see. Why do they want to move?”
“They’re finally sick of living in an efficiency. Chance and Ricky should’ve made that move a long time ago. They aren’t too good with managing their finances though.”
“Chance works in a bank and mismanages money?”
“I know. Mind-boggling, isn’t it?”
He chuckled. “And then some. Well, I’ll see you in a few, baby. I wanted to hear your voice—get my little fix—until later.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.”
“Not as sweet as you are to me, Rayne.”
“By the way,” I said, “that pain I was having before, it’s back.”
“Oh my, then we have to put you on a regular treatment schedule. I need to treat you at least three times a week before you can achieve any long-term improvement.”
“Um, you want to crack my back three times a week?”
“Ooh, I heard that!” Boom yelled out. She looked down at Momma. “Arjay, you were right. Rayne’s got it bad.”