Rayne took off for the door. Arjay ran after her. I was right on their tail. “Son!” I heard my dad yell behind me. “Give her some time to think.”
I looked at him and Mom, who was also crying. This had ruined their day; a day I’d hoped to become two celebrations.
“I have to go to her, Dad. I have to make her understand.”
“You can’t make a woman understand something she’s incapable of understanding.”
I was halfway to the door when Felix yanked me by the arm. “Man, she’s one fish in a sea of millions. Fuck that bitch if she doesn’t want you.”
I punched Felix right in the mouth. He was stunned as blood trickled down his chin.
“You and I are no longer friends. Don’t let me see you again.”
I ran down the stairwell instead of waiting for the elevator. By the time I got outside, they were gone.
Thirty
Rayne
“I know you don’t want to talk, but we have to.”
Momma was rubbing my back while I laid on my bed. I kept seeing the painful expression on Yardley’s face when I’d turned him down. It would haunt me for the rest of my days.
“Momma, please just leave me alone,” I said, lashing out at her in anger.
“No, I won’t. This is all my fault.”
I sat up. “How do you figure that?”
“Your real problem isn’t with Yardley. It’s with me.” She clasped her hands together and sighed. “I’m the reason you have so many trust issues with men.”
“No, men are the reason I have so many trust issues with men,” I stated adamantly. “But it’s not even about that.”
“Then what is it about?”
“I’ve realized something about myself lately, Momma.”
“What’s that, baby?”
“I meant what I said; about not being good enough for Yardley. I’m not good enough for him.”
She stood and started pacing the bedroom floor. “You said that same shit months ago when I was here. I thought we’d straightened that out.”
“I thought we did too, but…”
“But?”
I hesitated before replying, “We’ve never really had a candid conversation, Momma. Not a real one.”
She smirked at me. “I’d like to think we’ve had at least one or two.”
“Well, we haven’t. We’ve beat around the bush, touched upon some subjects, but never truly let it all go.”
“Then let’s do that now.”
I took a moment to analyze the situation. I’d been giving things a lot of thought lately and expressing my true feelings to my mother was vital to my sanity. That moment was as good a time as any.
“Remember the night I lost my virginity?”