“Do you believe that?”
“No, not really. I believe that’s just something a self-proclaimed prophet made up to sugarcoat the term.”
She giggled. “Interesting thought.”
I waited for her to get her laugh out and then dropped the bomb.
“I think I’m insane. I think I’ve been insane for a very long time.”
As suspected, Dr. Spencer stopped smiling. “What makes you say that?”
“Strange things. Things I can’t remember.”
“I’m not following you.”
I knew discussing matters would be tremendously complicated but I was shaking like a leaf. I was scared, but the thought of walking out of her office and facing my life the way it had been for the past fifteen years was even worse.
“Nasty, vile things written in my handwriting that I don’t remember writing. People accusing me of things I don’t recall doing. I mean, all of them can’t be mistaken. Right?”
“All of them?” she asked.
“My daddy. People I went to school with. Everyone who’s ever accused me of something.”
“Could you please elaborate?”
I got up from the chair and started pacing the floor. “I’m sorry. I know this must make zero sense. It doesn’t even make sense to me and I’m right in the middle of it.”
“Right in the middle of what?”
I smirked. “Hell. Right smack dab in the middle of hell.”
“When did people start accusing you of things?”
“Second grade.”
“Second grade?”
I sat back down and folded my hands on my lap, trying to prevent them from shaking.
“Yes. It was the day someone beat up Brenda Morrison and two other girls in the bathroom. Brenda had two black eyes, three broken ribs, and a smashed knee. I’ll never forget the way she looked when they took her away in the ambulance.”
“And they said you did that to them?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t make sense. I was terrified of Brenda. She was the biggest bully in the entire school.”
“Why do you think they accused you?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Brenda said I did it. So did the others. She said it was me, but it couldn’t have been. They said I followed them into the bathroom from the playground but I don’t even remember half of recess that day.”
“There were more instances after that one?”
“Several.”
“Please tell me about them, Jonquinette. If it isn’t too painful.”
“It’s painful, but that’s why I came here.” I finally looked Dr. Spencer in the eyes. “There was Mrs. Greer’s dog.”
“Mrs. Greer?”