The Other Side of the Pillow

I looked down at my plate, trying to avoid eye contact and to prevent myself from tearing up. “It is what it is. Sure, it would be nice to still have my parents in my life, but I’m not going to throw a pity party. There are many, many people in worse situations than me. I have a couple of degrees, a career that I am passionate about, and . . .”

Tevin was waiting for me to finish my sentence. When I continued to hesitate, he asked, “And what?”

“And a man who loves me.”

He grinned. “Yes, you definitely have that.”

We stared at each other for a moment. He had told me not to reciprocate what he had said until I meant it, so I would not. But my feelings for him ran deep. I could not call it being in love quite

yet, though.

“Tell me more about your parents.”

“Well, they’re divorced, but they only took that step after all of us were grown. I have two sisters. One lives in New Jersey and she owns a few retail stores. My other sister lives in Florida and she’s a dentist. Mom lives down in Florida near Alexis and my father lives in Sweden.”

“Sweden?”

“Yes, my father is a vascular surgeon as well. I got it honest. He decided that he wanted to move out of the country after the divorce because he needed a change.”

“That’s one hell of a change!”

“Indeed! He loves it, though. He learned their language, moved over there, and landed a position at Karolinska University Hospital in Stockholm. He comes back three to four times a year to visit the States.”

“I’ve always found it intriguing when people take such a leap of faith. Moving to another country is not a simple undertaking.”

Tevin laughed as he took a sip of his beer.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that, for a woman who has such a thirst for knowledge, I’m surprised you have that outlook.”

“What outlook?”

“Thinking that it seems like a massive undertaking to move to another country. Then again, a lot of us Americans have that same view. It seems more strenuous or daring for us to move somewhere else, but people from other countries uproot their entire families all the time—relocate to the United States, and manage to figure it out.”

“You have a good point. I have never thought of it that way. A lot of them even leave everyone else behind to come here and try to make things work.”

“Yes, they do. Many never see their family members again.”

“You know, I couldn’t imagine being a mother in a war-torn country and letting my children be smuggled out to have a better chance at life. I would like to think that I would let them go, but it is unthinkable to me.”

“We really need to appreciate the United States, as messed up as so many things are here.”

I giggled. “A patriotic conversation and it’s not the Fourth of July.”

Tevin wiped his chin with his napkin. Even that seemed sensual to me.

You’re going to fuck him tonight and you know it!

“I will say this,” I added. “This has given me some food for thought. A lot of my students have been offered opportunities to study abroad or stay with foreign families. I have never been too thrilled about the concept, but when you get right down to it, it’s dangerous here in the States.”

“Yes, there have been a lot of school shootings lately. It’s crazy.”

I took a deep breath. “Tell me about it. We’ve had to rethink our security and take more precautions. There’s no way to tell when or where someone might lose it. I guess when it’s your time, it’s your time.”

Tevin looked into my eyes and grinned. “Okay, enough of the dismal stuff. This is our time . . . to get to know each other.”

“Indeed.”