The Other Side of the Pillow

ys, wanted me to always be lonely with her. As long as I was in the mode of not wanting a real relationship, it worked out in her favor.

Tevin reappeared with a velvet box, dropped down on his knees, popped it open, and asked me, “Jemistry, will you marry me?”

The rock was huge. I had always imagined a man proposing to me and thought the ring would be nice, but nothing like the engagement ring in that box.

I shut it slowly and closed his palm around it.

“I’m not ready to have that discussion yet.”

The painful expression on his face hit me in the pit of my stomach.

“I understand. You’re right.” He stood up and set back down in the armchair. “Baby steps. All that matters is that you’re here. That we’re in the same room, breathing the same oxygen. If that’s all I get for today, I can accept that.”

“I have another question,” I said. After he just stared at me, I asked, “Have you been seeing someone new?”

“No, I’m not seeing anyone. Who am I going to see?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know but you’re a man and men have needs.”

“So do women. Does that mean you’ve been seeing someone?”

I smirked. “You should know better.”

“Jemistry, when we met, you were having casual sex with two men. You told me that yourself. So why does my question sound crazy to you?”

He placed his left hand over his mouth for a few seconds.

“Okay, I’m not going to risk anything coming out later.”

This bastard just lied to me!

“I had sex one time with this woman who sells pharmaceuticals at the hospital . . . but not in my unit.”

“You had sex but you’re not seeing her?”

“Not at all. In fact, I made it painfully clear that I was not interested in any kind of relationship with her or anyone else. That I was trying to heal and accept losing you. She kept coming on to me so I eventually caved. We went out to dinner and then we went back to her place and had the worst sex ever. I didn’t do anything to her . . . if you know what I mean. I used a condom, it was over and done with, and I left. Haven’t spoken to her since.”

It could have been a lot worse. I honestly had expected Tevin to go out and bed a lot of women, or hop into a rebound relationship.

“And that’s all you need to tell me?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“That’s it. I pro—” He caught himself before he used the word promise. “I assure you that I have nothing else to tell you. Outside of that, I’ve been miserable. I felt like I’d been robbed, or prosecuted for a crime that I never committed.”

Tevin eased over onto the sofa next to me and took my hand. “I realize that I just said that all I needed was to be in the same room with you, but I need you. I need to be inside of you. I need to caress you, and taste you, and make love to you.”

Shit! Time to come clean!

“Tevin, if we hadn’t run into each other at the airport, I would’ve contacted you within the next few days anyway.”

He seemed surprised. “Really?”

“It would’ve been mandatory.” I paused and took in a deep breath. “There was no way that I could’ve continued to hide it from you.”

“Hide what? Your emotions?”

“No. Our baby.”

Tevin’s mouth fell open, and then his eyes fell to my stomach, which was covered by the loose sundress I was wearing. He reached out and touched it. I wasn’t showing in a major way but, as my lover, he knew that there was more there than there used to be.