The Other Side of the Pillow

“One day, I’ll go out into the world and make my own millions. Right now, my life is all about making sure my kids make honor roll, have dinner on the table, and that they feel loved.”

“Well, I can’t give up my career, but I will take maternity leave.”

“And no one is suggesting that you should.”

I had to admit that I felt some kind of way about the way the conversation was headed. While I could understand women making the decision not to work to stay home with their children, it was not for me. I had struggled too hard to get where I was and it was more important for me to allow my child to see me become successful.

“I realize that you’re not suggesting it. In many ways, I admire the fact that you’re there with the kids all the time. You’ve had a husband from day one while I was somewhere being mistreated, beaten, or humiliated. I had to learn to fend for myself.”

“The past is the past, Jemistry. I really pray that you can let all of that go. Tevin has a lot of values and I don’t believe that he’ll relinquish them for any reason. If he didn’t think that he could be the man you deserve, he’d walk away first.

“When you broke up with him, he was devastated . . . beyond devastated. He would try to hide it around me, when he was coming over and heading down into Floyd’s so-called man cave. But he couldn’t mask his pain. I’ve seen it before, and not to compare apples to oranges, but he took losing you at least as hard as he took losing Estella.”

“Speaking of Estella, do you think Tevin’s still in love with her? Be honest.”

Courtney stared at me from across the table.

“Seriously! Tell me what you think!”

“Okay, I’ll tell you what I think. Sure, I think he still cares for her. Tevin’s not the type to marry someone he doesn’t truly love. There’s probably something still there, but it’s not what it once was. If she was in some kind of dire situation, I’m sure he’d try to help her, but he’s a doctor. He’d do that for a stranger on the street, or on the operating table, so one would expect him to be there for those who matter to him.

“But he’s very loyal, and extremely honest. He’s not going to do anything to hurt you, Jemistry. He deserves a chance at happiness, and so do you.”

After we paid and left DC Coast, Courtney and I decided to hit up a few boutiques to look for maternity clothes. I couldn’t believe that I was about to have a baby. Then I felt the fetus kick for the first time.

Chapter Twenty-five

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending because true love has no ending.”

—Unknown

The first day of each school year could always be either exciting in a positive way, or straight up ridiculous in a negative way. It really depended on the attitudes of both the students and the faculty. The incoming freshmen were nervous no matter how you sliced it. Even the ones who thought they were the shit and had huge egos because they were the most popular in elementary school and middle school got a reality check—fast, quick, and in a hurry. The ones who had always been shy, afraid of their own shadow, or bullied had it the worst since they expect more of the same treatment.

High school is a totally different experience, though. It is an opportunity to “reinvent” yourself. Even if the ones who made your life a nightmare were in some of your classes, the student body was at least three times larger than middle school since several fed into Medgar Evers. The ones considered weak in eighth grade could become student body president within two years; the ones that were most popular could end up being bullied and find themselves outcasts within mere months.

A lot of the weight on how a student flourished or fell off the cliff rested on their parents’ shoulders. Despite societal views, and seeing so much negativity on the Internet and in the media about wayward youths, most parents still wanted the best for their children. They wanted their children to surpass anything that they had ever accomplished. They wanted to try to ensure that their children had a good education and were established in financially stable careers before they had to leave this earth and their offspring behind. Most worked hard to provide for their families and struggled every day to make sure that their children did not have to endure the same struggles. Most of them. And those were the parents who came to PTA meetings, and made sure their kids participated in organized sports and various academic clubs. The ones who sent their kids on college tours, were proactive in trying to seek out financial aid and scholarships for them to get a higher education. The ones that burned the midnight oil to help them complete science fair projects and homework on time, and drilled them on test material until they had everything memorized. The ones that would hire tutors that they may not have been able to afford if they saw their children slipping in any given subject.

Then there were the parents that I called “the others.” The ones that I never blamed for their actions because I realized that a lot of it stemmed from deep issues, dark secrets, and generational curses. Those parents also believed that they were doing the right thing . . . most of the time. If they had to beg, barter, and steal to survive because their parents begged, bartered, and stole, that was all that they knew. If they grew up watching their parents, aunts, and uncles strung out on drugs or alcohol, and skating through life by the skin of their teeth, many believed that was all life had to offer them. Sure, they heard stories about and saw successful people in the media, or worked for some, but they never believed they could achieve success like that.

I considered a great portion of my responsibility trying to make those children “see” that they could achieve greatness. To present them with case studies of famous people—inventors, doctors, lawyers, politicians, celebrities, professional athletes—who grew up in conditions at least as bad as them, and not only survived but thrived.

I arrived an hour before school opened to get settled in my office. There were already some kids standing around anxiously, even though the doors were still locked. In DC, children who lived within a mile radius of the school were required to walk, be dropped off by a parent, or take public transportation.

No school buses unless it was a greater distance. While I could see the health benefits of making them walk—that was the only exercise many of them would get because they had no choice—I took issue with their safety being placed at risk. Many walked alone. And in the winter months, since DC rarely closed down the schools in inclement weather, we always ended up with children sick and missing a lot of days that could have been avoided by keeping the schools closed for one day. It made no sense but if we took too many snow days, it meant extending the school year.

I was gathering a crate of paperwork out of my hatch when I spotted Winsome approaching me from across the parking lot.

Great! Just what the fuck I need this morning!

She didn’t even say hello first. “Jemistry, we need to talk. We’ve gotta hash this out.”

I closed the back of my SUV. “I can’t believe you showed up on my first day of school. You know this is one of my most hectic days.”

“What I know is this is the one place I could find you this morning since you’ve been avoiding me for months.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you. I don’t want to be bothered with you at all. Avoiding implies that at some point I plan to deal with you again. That shit’s not happening.”

We stood there looking each other in the face. Then Winsome squinted. “You’re pregnant!”