“I understand what you are saying, but—”
“Besides, what am I supposed to do? Tell Jason I’m going down to Florida on a business trip while I go check into some
clinic for nymphomaniacs? That shit is out of the damn question.”
“Are you a nymphomaniac?” She asked the question as if she didn’t already know the answer.
I got up and headed toward the door. “What the hell do you think?”
I was halfway to the elevator when she started tugging gently on my coat sleeve. “Zoe, come on back in the office so we can talk some more. Off the clock. We need to settle this. I don’t want you leaving here so distraught. I really want to help you. Why can’t you believe that?”
I tried to get my bearings and prevent my heart from pumping so fast. I sensed true sincerity in her voice as I pressed the call button for the elevator. The next words came out in a normal tone. “Look, Dr. Spencer—”
“Marcella,” she corrected.
“Marcella, I really appreciate you listening to me and fitting me into your busy schedule. I’m truly sorry for snapping at you just now, but all the pressure and stress I’ve been under lately is destroying me.” I started pressing the call button again.
“I can see that it’s destroying you,” she agreed, rubbing my arm. “That’s why you have to let me help.”
I gazed in her eyes, looking for some omen that she was my savior. “No, you can’t help me. No one can. I got myself into this predicament, and I have to get myself out of it.”
“That’s where you’re dead wrong.” I noticed there were beads of sweat gathering on her brow. She was really stressing over my ass. “If you could get yourself out of this alone, you would have already. In fact, you never would have put yourself in this position in the first place if you had an option.”
She had a point, but I still didn’t believe she could improve anything. “The bottom line is this. After all the shit I’ve gone through with Quinton, I’m still fucking him. After all the shit with Tyson and that bitch of his vandalizing my car, I’m still fucking him. There’s nothing that’s going to make me stop, short of Jason finding out and wringing my neck. That’s the truly pathetic part of all this.”
The elevator doors parted. I got on and pressed the button for the lobby level. She prevented the door from shutting by leaning on it. “So what are you going to do now, Zoe? Just continue on your path of destruction?”
I threw my hands up in the air and then started grasping the chrome bar surrounding the inside of the elevator. “Gee, I don’t know what I’m going to do now!” I fought back the tears, determined not to shed another tear in front of Marcella. “I love my husband to death, but maybe, instead of heading home, I’ll go let one of my lovers have their way with me. Who knows?”
She sensed my sarcasm. “Actually, I do know what I’m going to do after I leave here,” I continued. “I’m going to visit my best friend and make sure her ass is all right. I haven’t seen Brina since I insisted on taking her to the emergency room last Saturday. And maybe, just maybe, if she’s not in the middle of another crisis of her own, I’ll ask her to let me cry on her shoulder for a change.”
Marcella smiled at me. It was a weak, forced smile, but welcome just the same. She dropped her voice to almost a whisper. “Sounds like a good plan to me, Zoe. But listen—” She reached in the elevator and rubbed me on the shoulder. “If you ever want to talk again, I’ll be right here. You can call me anytime, day or night. I can’t make you continue therapy with me. I just want you to know I’m always willing. Always!”
“Thanks!” The smile I returned was genuine.
The elevator doors were halfway closed when she stuck her foot in. “Zoe, we never got a chance to discuss your third affair. You sure you don’t want to stay for another hour so we can continue the conversation?”
I smirked, wondering how sick she would think I was if I told her the truth. Just threw the entire load of shit on her like I was tossing a penny in a wishing well. “Trust me, Doc. That’s the last thing I need to talk about right now. In fact, that’s probably something better off left alone, period.”
She removed her foot. The last thing I saw as the elevator doors slammed was the perplexed expression on her face.
chapter
twenty-one
It was drizzling when I arrived at Brina’s building. I didn’t go in for a few minutes. I was still shook up over the unexpected altercation with Marcella. The last thing I was prepared for was her admitting she didn’t have a clue what the fuck she was doing. She could’ve told me that from jump street.
I should’ve told Brina all of the drama from the get-go and saved all the dead presidents I was going to have to kick out on therapy. Not to mention the aggravation and humiliation I endured by telling a complete stranger all of my business. Still, I liked Marcella. I sensed something real about her. I only wished she could have helped.
I decided the heart-to-heart between Brina and I was long overdo. So what if she always viewed me as perfect? She understood the Zoe-Jason soap opera better than anyone. After all, she had a front-row seat to the whole thing. Gurlfriend was just going to have to get over the fact that her idol wasn’t a lady, but a tramp. Brina and I went way back, and out of everyone, she wouldn’t judge me. That much I knew for sure.
After making a mad dash to get in the carpeted hallway of her building, I folded the newspaper I had over my head to protect my hairdo and jiggled the dampness off my coat. I knocked on her door and didn’t get an answer. Her car was parked out front, so I was surprised when she didn’t come to the door. After all, she was the one who went on and on about how she just went to work and came straight home every day. I couldn’t imagine her hanging out, and since it was raining, I knew she wasn’t out walking anywhere.
I heard some music playing loudly and realized it was coming from her place. I figured she was probably in the shower or something and didn’t hear the door. I contemplated waiting out in the hall for a few minutes and knocking again. I was used to just barging in with the hidden key but for some strange reason, I felt it would be obtrusive that day.
I decided to wait a few moments. I had no desire to go home and face Jason right then and running to one of my other lovers was out of the damn question. Besides, I wanted to check on Brina’s bruises and see if she planned to take me up on my job offer. Most of all, I needed to confide in her in the worst way. Enough of the lies!
I swung around when I heard the door across the hall open abruptly. There was an old white woman standing there in a housecoat. She had a baseball bat in one hand and a demonic expression on her pale face. I immediately jumped back against the wall. An eighty-year-old white woman holding a bat and glaring didn’t sit well with me.