“She was my first love.”
“She was everyone’s first lay,” Alex whispered not so subtly.
Vivian raised an eyebrow. “Ben stole your girlfriend?”
“Yes, the cad!” Robert replied with a woeful throw of his hand against his forehead. He laughed deeply. “It’s not big deal now of course. I mean, I’d still like to punch him in the face. I haven’t seen him since high school.”
“We haven’t seen each other in two years!” Alex added.
“Since the Christmas party,” said the Captain with a nod. He turned back to her. “Did you know I introduced Alex to his wife at school?”
She grinned. “I knew he couldn’t have been so lucky on his own.”
“She had her head in law books even then. A gorgeous woman who paid no attention to men, but we were family friends. I hooked them up,” Robert said proudly and Alex nodded with a small smile.
“It’s true.”
“And now you’re married to her. You owe him,” she mused and her boss nodded.
“Yes, I was not as good with the ladies as Ben.”
The last comment struck a soft wounded chord in her heart. The two men went on chuckling, now bringing up stories about their time on the lacrosse field. She watched them over her chilled drink.
Sometimes she felt so close to Ben and then, at moments like this, it was like she didn’t know him at all. It was funny how you could lie in bed next to someone night after night, but at the mention of a past filled with adventures you weren’t privy to… she played with the napkin in her lap.
What was he doing now? She hadn’t received a message from him all day. She even sent him one earlier this morning while she was getting ready.
My service must be bad on water, she hoped and took a swig of her drink. The men in front of her looked like two teenage boys. She smiled softly behind her hand.
She knew Ben loved her. Perhaps it was enough to see a glimpse into his world. She’d once visited a Buddhist temple with a friend during college, where the monk softly repeated over and over: “Do not focus on the past.”
Could she help it though? She truly wondered. It wasn’t so much the past that was her focus, but the future…
Where would she and Ben be in a few years? Would they be married? She felt her cheeks flush. She hadn’t truly thought about that. Maybe a few times when they laid together, glowing with sweat and naked after an exhausting love making session, but they were girlish dreams as far as she was concerned.
This hasn’t been the brunch for my self-esteem, she thought a bit sourly. Robert suddenly turned to her and she perked up with a plastered smile.
“Are you excited for the masquerade tonight?”
“Oh, yes! I’ve packed some beautiful masks,” she replied. It was true. She had gone a bit overboard in preparations for the masquerade. She’d bought a fine evening gown of emerald green and an assortment of black masks with corresponding fine costume jewelry to match. She couldn’t help it though. The desire to dress up had never really left her from her days as a young girl.
“Oh, Adriana packed a mask for me,” Alex suddenly mused. She smiled and nodded innocently. Yes, Adriana had packed a mask for him since Vivian told her immediately upon reading about it.
“I’ll dig something out from the family closet,” the new mother had told her. It made Vivian a bit jealous to hear remarks like that. Even a closet could represent a door she seemingly could never open. Would she ever be a part of the family?
Alex called over the waiter to ask for another round of drinks. Robert began to regal her with tales of his glory days on the field and in the classroom. She felt the sting of the alienation from the past fade, as the two men seemed to bring her into the warm circle of the present moment.
And yet, she still desperately felt a hollow space as Ben’s face fluttered through her mind every now and then for the remainder of brunch.
The full moon glowed above them.
“Did you miss me?”
That voice. How unmistakable it was to her ears. It was music to her. The moonlight glittered across the dark water behind his impressive towering back. She pressed a hand against her fast beating heart. It swelled in warmth, beating right along the sound of the waves as they struck against the bottom of the ship.
She could make out the strong lines of his jaw even underneath the mask. They seemed sharper than before as he coolly leaned against the railing as if they were discussing the weather. His lips, those beautiful stupid lips, were arching upward into his trademark smirk.
“You are such a bastard,” she said. As if he needed a reminder. His grin was instant. She crossed her arms as a breeze rolled over them, fluttering the silky edges of her dress and the feathers of her mask. He raised a black-gloved hand to cover his rising bout of laughter.