‘No, I know you, Antonio. I have seen the person beyond the bitter hatred of your father, beyond the fear of the damage done to your sister. I’ve seen the love you have for her and your mother, the love you have for Dimitri and Dany
l. I have seen the man you think you are not, and he is amazing. But if you do this,’ she said, hoping against all hope, ‘if you use this dossier you will destroy the goodness in you.’
She hated it that she was almost pleading now.
‘You don’t need to stoop to this level, Antonio. You’re better than that. You could win the deal without it. I know it... I know it because I love you.’
Antonio’s hand flew up between them, as if warding off her words.
‘Don’t say that, Emma.’
‘Why not? It’s the truth. I love you. I can see the man that you are beneath this path of revenge you’re on.’ She just hated it that he couldn’t see it for himself.
‘Emma, please—’
‘No. You’ve shown me that all this time I’ve been hiding. You told me as much last night, when we were together. But it wasn’t just my body that I was hiding. And you know that. You knew it then and you know it now. I was hiding from reaching for what I really wanted.’
No longer could Emma hold back the words and thoughts that had been forming, slowly shaping in her mind and heart.
‘All this time, all these years, despite my Living List, despite the things I wanted to achieve—events and experiences that are almost meaningless in themselves—what I was really hiding from was love. And now that I am reaching for it, asking for it—asking to be loved by you and asking you to be worthy of that—you refuse?’ she demanded.
She knew that he felt something for her—possibly even met her love with his own. Whether he would choose that instead of his need for revenge she really wasn’t sure. But she knew that their love wouldn’t survive if he chose wrong.
‘I told you when we first made this deal, Emma, that emotions weren’t going to be involved. They can’t be involved.’
‘But emotions are the one thing that’s been driving you this whole time!’ she cried.
‘I can’t afford to let my father get away with it. He is a villain, Emma.’
‘But are you willing to become him to get what you want? Are you willing to become a villain yourself?’
‘Emma, if I found this, then I guarantee you that my father will have.’
For the first time Emma heard something like desperation enter his voice.
‘Then help Bartlett find a way through it,’ she said, hoping that Antonio would find a way through his need for revenge. ‘Show him the kindness that your father never showed to your mother or you or your sister.’
‘I just can’t take that risk. I need to do this.’
The despair in his voice nearly broke her. Nearly sent her running to this man who had stolen her heart like a thief. But she couldn’t—no, she wouldn’t.
‘Then you do it without me.’
She made her way towards the cases by the door, but his words stopped her mid stride.
‘It wouldn’t have really mattered, though, would it?’ he said, his words icy cold and ruthlessly quiet.
‘What are you talking about?’ she asked, turning towards him, confused at the change in his tone.
‘Whether you had discovered this or not. You wouldn’t have trusted me—trusted this—so you’re leaving before you find out.’
‘I—’
He didn’t let her finish. ‘Just like you did to that scared seventeen-year-old boy who might have battled through his fears for you. It’s just another excuse to stop yourself from taking a chance.’
Emma felt the blood drain from her face, sucked into the vortex of ice running through her core. Fear. She felt fear.
‘What is it, Emma? You think we’re all going to leave? That we’re not strong enough to stick it out with you?’