The Witches

‘Classrooms vill all be svorrming vith mice!’ shouted The Grand High Witch. ‘Chaos and pandemonium vill be rrreigning in every school in Inkland! Teachers vill be hopping up and down! Vimmen teachers vill be standing on desks and holding up skirts and yelling, “Help, help, help!’ ”

‘They will! They will!’ cried the audience.

‘And vot,’ shouted The Grand High Witch, ‘is happening next in every school?’

‘Tell us!’ they cried. ‘Tell us, O Brainy One!’

The Grand High Witch stretched her stringy neck forward and grinned at the audience, showing two rows of pointed teeth, slightly blue. She raised her voice louder than ever and shouted, ‘Mouse-trrraps is coming out!’

‘Mouse-traps!’ cried the witches.

‘And cheese!’ shouted The Grand High Witch. ‘Teachers is all rrrushing and rrrunning out and getting mouse-trrraps and baiting them vith cheese and putting them down all over school! Mice is nibbling cheese! Mouse-trrraps is going off! All over school, mouse-trrraps is going snappety-snap and mouse-heads is rrrolling across the floors like marbles! All over Inkland, in everrry school in Inkland, noise of snapping mouse-trrraps vill be heard!’

At this point, the disgusting old Grand High Witch began to do a sort of witch's dance up and down the platform, stamping her feet and clapping her hands. The entire audience joined in the clapping and the foot-stamping. They were making such a tremendous racket that I thought surely Mr Stringer would hear it and come banging at the door. But he didn't.

Then, above all the noise, I heard the voice of The Grand High Witch screaming out some sort of an awful gloating song,

‘Down vith children! Do them in!

Boil their bones and fry their skin!

Bish them, sqvish them, bash them, mash them!

Brrreak them, shake them, slash them, smash them!

Offer chocs vith magic powder!

Say “Eat up!” then say it louder.

Crrram them full of sticky eats,

Send them home still guzzling sveets.

And in the morning little fools

Go marching off to separate schools.

A girl feels sick and goes all pale.

She yells, “Hey look! I've grrrown a tail!”

A boy who's standing next to her

Screams, “Help! I think I'm grrrowing fur!”

Another shouts, “Vee look like frrreaks!

There's viskers growing on our cheeks!”

A boy who vos extremely tall

Cries out, “Vot's wrong? I'm grrrowing small!”

Four tiny legs begin to sprrrout

From everybody rrround about.

And all at vunce, all in a trrrice,