‘I'll tell you why,’ my grandmother said. ‘Because all of them have had massive overdoses, just like you. It's thrown the alarm-clock right out of whack!’
Everyone in the Dining-Room was standing up now to get a better view. People were moving closer. They were beginning to crowd round the two long tables. My grandmother lifted Bruno and me up so that we wouldn't miss any of the fun. In her excitement, she jumped up on to her chair so that she could see over the heads of the crowd.
In another few seconds, all the witches had completely disappeared and the tops of the two long tables were swarming with small brown mice.
All over the Dining-Room women were screaming and strong men were turning white in the face and shouting, ‘It's crazy! This can't happen! Let's get the heck out of here quick!’ Waiters were attacking the mice with chairs and wine-bottles and anything else that came to hand. I saw a chef in a tall white hat rushing out from the kitchen brandishing a frying-pan, and another one just behind him was wielding a carving-knife above his head, and everyone was yelling, ‘Mice! Mice! Mice! We must get rid of the mice!’ Only the children in the room were really enjoying it. They all seemed to know instinctively that something good was going on right there in front of them, and they were clapping and cheering and laughing like mad.
‘It's time to go,’ my grandmother said. ‘Our work is done.’ She got down off her chair and picked up her handbag and slung it over her arm. She had me in her right hand and Bruno in her left. ‘Bruno,’ she said, ‘the time has come to restore you to the famous bosom of your family.’
‘My mum's not very crazy about mice,’ Bruno said.
‘So I noticed,’ my grandmother said. ‘She'll just have to get used to you, won't she?’
It was not difficult to find Mr and Mrs Jenkins. You could hear Mrs Jenkins's shrill voice all over the room. ‘Herbert!’ it was screaming. ‘Herbert, get me out of here! There's mice everywhere! They'll go up my skirts!’ She had her arms high up around her husband and from where I was she seemed to be swinging from his neck.
My grandmother advanced upon them and thrust Bruno into Mr Jenkins's hand. ‘Here's your little boy,’ she said. ‘He needs to go on a diet.’
‘Hi, Dad!’ Bruno said. ‘Hi, Mum!’
Mrs Jenkins screamed even louder. My grandmother, with me in her hand, turned and marched out of the room. She went straight across the hotel lobby and out through the front entrance into the open air.
Outside it was a lovely warm evening and I could hear the waves breaking on the beach just across the road from the hotel.
‘Is there a
taxi here?’ my grandmother said to the tall doorman in his green uniform.
‘Certainly, madam,’ he said, and he put two fingers into his mouth and blew a long shrill whistle. I watched him with envy. For weeks I had been trying to whistle like that but I hadn't succeeded once. Now I never would.
The taxi came. The driver was an oldish man with a thick black drooping moustache. The moustache hung over his mouth like the roots of some plant. ‘Where to, madam?’ he asked. Suddenly, he caught sight of me, a little mouse, nestling in my grandmother's hand. ‘Blimey!’ he said. ‘What's that?’
‘It's my grandson,’ my grandmother said. ‘Drive us to the station, please.’
‘I always liked mice,’ the old taxi-driver said. ‘I used to keep ’undreds of ’em when I was a boy. Mice is the fastest breeders in the world, did you know that, ma'am? So if ’ee's your grandson, then I reckon you'll be having a few great-grandsons to go with ’im in a couple of weeks’ time!’
‘Drive us to the station, please,’ my grandmother said, looking prim.
‘Yes, ma'am,’ he said. ‘Right away.’
My grandmother got into the back of the taxi and sat down and put me on her lap.
‘Are we going home?’ I asked her.
‘Yes,’ she answered. ‘Back to Norway.’
‘Hooray!’ I cried. ‘Oh, hooray, hooray, hooray!’
‘I though you'd like that,’ she said.
‘But what about our luggage?’
‘Who cares about luggage?’ she said.
The taxi was driving through the streets of Bournemouth and this was the time of day when the pavements were crowded with holiday-makers all wandering about aimlessly with nothing to do.
‘How are you feeling, my darling?’ my grandmother said.
‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Quite marvellous.’