'Then tell us about them,' Sir Charles said, lighting a huge cigar. 'You have a distinguished audience here and they are all waiting to hear from you.'
'I think it's the greatest scientific breakthrough since Pasteur,' I said. 'It's going to change the world.'
The Foreign Minister of France made a sharp whistling sound by sucking air up through his hairy nostrils. 'You have another Pasteur in England at this moment?' he said. 'If so, I would very much like to hear about him.' He was a sleek oily Frenchman, this Foreign Minister, and sharp as a knife. I would have to watch him.
'If the world is about to be changed,' Sir Charles said, 'I'm a little surprised that this information hasn't yet found its way to my desk.'
Steady on, Oswald, I told myself. You've hardly begun and already you've been laying it on too thick.
'Forgive me, sir, but the point is he hasn't published yet.'
'Who hasn't? Who's he?'
'Professor Yousoupoff, sir.'
The Russian Ambassador put down his glass of port and said, 'Yousoupoff? Is he a Russian?'
'Yes, sir, he's a Russian.'
'Then why haven't I heard of him?'
I wasn't about to get into a tangle with this black-eyed black-bearded Cossack, so I kept silent.
'Come on, then, young man,' Sir Charles said. 'Tell us about the greatest scientific breakthrough of our time. You mustn't keep us in suspense, you know.'
I took a few deep breaths and a gulp of port. This was the great moment. Pray heaven I wouldn't mess it up.
'For years,' I said, 'Professor Yousoupoff has been working on the theory that the seeds of a ripe pomegranate contain an ingredient that has powerful rejuvenative properties.'
'We have millions and millions of pomegranates in my country!' the Italian Ambassador exclaimed, looking proud.
'Be quiet, Emilio,' Sir Charles said. 'Let the boy go on.'
'For twenty-seven years,' I said, 'Professor Yousoupoff has been studying the seed of the pomegranate. It became an obsession with him. He used to sleep in the laboratory. He never went out socially. He never married. The whole place was littered with pomegranates and their seeds.'
'Excuse me, please,' said the little Japanese man. 'But why the pomegranate? Why not the grape or the blackcurrant?'
'I cannot answer that question, sir,' I said. 'I suppose it was simply what you might call a hunch.'
'Hell of a long time to spend on a hunch,' Sir Charles said. 'But go on, my boy. We mustn't interrupt you.'
'Last January,' I said, 'the Professor's patience was at last rewarded. What he did was this. He dissected the seed of a pomegranate and examined the contents bit by bit under a powerful microscope. And it was only then that he observed in the very centre of the seed a minuscule speck of red vegetable tissue that he'd never seen before. He proceeded to isolate this tiny speck of tissue. But it was obviously too small to be of any use on its own. So the Professor set out to dissect one hundred seeds and to obtain from them one hundred of these tiny red particles. This is where he allowed me to assist him. I mean by dissecting out these particles under a microscope. This alone occupied us for a whole week.'
I took another sip of port. My audience waited for me to go on.
'So we now had one hundred red particles, but even when we put them all together on a glass slide, the result could still not be seen by the naked eye.'
'And you say they were red, these little things?' said the Hungarian Ambassador.
'Under the microscope they were a brilliant scarlet,' I said.
'And what did this famous professor do with them?'
'He fed them to a rat,' I said.
'A rat!'
'Yes,' I said. 'A big white rat.'