Dirty Beasts

The lion just adores to eat

A lot of red and tender meat,

And if you ask the lion what

Is much the tenderest of the lot,

He will not say a roast of lamb

Or curried beef or devilled ham

Or crispy pork or corned beef hash

Or sausages or mutton mash.

Then could it be a big plump hen?

He answers no. What is it, then?

Oh, lion dear, could I not make

You happy with a lovely steak?

Could I entice you from your lair

With rabbit-pie or roa

sted hare?

The lion smiled and shook his head.

He came up very close and said,

“The meat I am about to chew

Is neither steak nor chops. IT’S YOU.”

The Scorpion

You ought to thank your lucky star

That here in England where you are

You’ll never find (or so it’s said)

A scorpion inside your bed.

The scorpion’s name is Stingaling,

A most repulsive ugly thing,

And I would never recommend

That you should treat him as a friend.

His scaly skin is black as black

With armour-plate upon his back.