Dirty Beasts

“He makes the toad look titchy small!

“There’s lovely snail-meat for us all!

“We’ll bake the creature in his shell

“And ring aloud the dinner-bell!

“Get garlic, parsley, butter, spices!

“We’ll cut him into fifty slices!

“Come sharpen up your carving-knives!

“This is the banquet of our lives!”

I murmured through my quivering lips,

“Oh Snail, I think we’ve had our chips.”

The Snail replied, “I disagree.

“Those greedy French, they’ll not eat me.”

But on they came. They screamed, “Yahoo!

“Surround the brute and run him through!”

Good gracious, I could almost feel

The pointed blades, the shining steel!

But Snail was cool as cool could be.

He turned his head and winked at me,

And murmured, “Au revoir, farewell,”

And pulled a lever on his shell.

I looked around. The Snail had gone!

And now who was I sitting on? . . .

Oh what relief! What joy! Because

At last I’d found a friend. It was

The gorgeous, glamorous, absurd,

Enchanting ROLY-POLY BIRD!

He turned and whispered in my ear,

“Well, fancy seeing you, my dear!”

Then up he went in glorious flight.

I clutched his neck and hung on tight.